WASHINGTON D.C. – President Donald Trump has threatened to tariff Canadian goods as a means of forcing Canadians to address circumstances that would cause future forest wildfires, a tactic that ...
Meteorologists confirm drizzle will not address bird shit situation
Brandon, MB – Local meteorologists confirmed today what residents already felt in their hearts: the light rain forecast for this weekend will do absolutely nothing to address the bird shit situation. ...
Cancelling of Billy Bishop expansion leaves Ford wondering if this is a bad time to tell Ontario he bought another private jet
QUEEN’S PARK – The Federal Government has announced it will not support a proposed expansion of Billy Bishop Airport, leaving Premier Doug Ford searching for the right moment to inform Ont...
British Columbia to address cost of housing by legalizing polygamy
VICTORIA, B.C. – Minister for Housing and Municipal Affairs Christine Boyle has announced that the provincial government will legalize polygamy in an effort to address the ballooning cost of hou...
Olive-hating man worried about upcoming trip to Greece
Sharbot Lake, ON – The excitement of an overseas vacation has turned to anxiety for a local man over the perceived olive-based diet of his destination. Ted LaFleur, 43, says while he is excited ...
Canadians just so goddamn tired of this bullshit
CANADA – Canadians across the country have collectively unleashed a sigh of agonized frustration while simultaneously stating “Again with this bullshit?” “Help me out in unders...
Andrew Tate slowly realizing exclusive new manosphere actually jail
MIAMI – Controversial online men’s influencer Andrew Tate, as well as his brother Tristan, is gradually realizing that the elite new manosphere club he has been ushered into is in fact a f...
Trump Admin demands to know why Ottawa not paying for American smoke crossing into Canada
WASHINGTON D.C. – As President Trump threatens to tariffs due to smoke from Canadian wildfires, he is also lambasting Prime Minister Carney over failure to pay for American smoke crossing over i...
Trump incensed at Canadian wildfires for not blowing smoke up his ass
WASHINGTON D.C. – U.S. President Donald Trump is furious at Canadian wildfires blowing smoke everywhere but up his ass. “This is absolutely unacceptable behaviour from the Canadian environment,”...
Meet the Canadian civil servant responsible for sending our wildfire smoke to the U.S.
With wildfire smoke drifting down from Canada into Michigan, New York and other states, numerous Americans have once again taken to social media to complain about Canada ruining their summers and R...
