EDMONTON – In truly alarming news it appears that a group of 8 teenagers at the mall is looking at you, a fully adult man with kids, a mortgage and a Costco membership. “Stay cool, st…
Local
White kid’s name spelled normally
OAKVILLE – Residents are expressing concern, as it was discovered today that a local white child’s name leverages a traditional spelling. Private and public citizens alike were aghast when …
“Where am I? What year is it?” asks man who just woke up from 30 minute nap
MONTREAL – A confused and deleterious Martin Hastings was demanding people advise him where and when he was after being unconscious for a full half an hour. “We’re sharing a hotel room whil…
Friend has been rich this whole time
TORONTO – Local woman Maddy Humphries, 29, has discovered that her friend Kyla Mason, 28, has been hiding the fact that she is rich for the entirety of their 7 year friendship. “Kyla …
Lonely man goes out looking like shit to ensure he runs into at least 3 people he knows
TORONTO – Feeling a bit lonely and without community local man Marcus Bailey has decided to go for a walk while looking absolutely terrible to guarantee he runs into several friends and acq…
Child’s homework got too difficult for dad to help with a lot earlier than expected
MONCTON – Dave McKindritch attempted to help his 9 year old son Weston complete his homework this evening, only to discover that things are already a lot more advanced than he was anticipat…
Clothes in hamper smell good enough
REGINA – Part-time barista Melanie Ericsson has reportedly expressed relief after realizing she had no clean clothes but, fortunately, discovered that those in her hamper had a pleasant-eno…
Pussy-whipped loser can’t even go one night without asking the cops to find his missing wife
REGINA – Pathetic beta male Greg Sharpe is completely humiliating himself by asking the police for an update on his missing wife every single day. “We keep telling Greg to kick back, have a coupl…
Smirking 9 year old just learned the French word for Seal
Woodbridge, ON – Caleb Chen, a Grade 4 student, had a slow smile creep across his face after hearing his teacher pronounce the french word for seal: Phoque. “Every year when we do ani…
Driver causing 15 minute traffic delay by parking in middle of road put flashers on so it’s totally fine
TORONTO – Drivers stuck behind a car that inexplicably stopped in the middle of the road on a street with only 1 lane in each direction were about to be very mad until they saw that the off…