Male Loneliness Crisis temporarily solved by World Cup
NORTH AMERICA – The much-discussed epidemic of male loneliness has reportedly been resolved, for just the duration of the 2026 FIFA World Cup. Across North America, the feelings of widespre…
Nova Scotia to rebrand as “Newer Brunswick”
HALIFAX – In a surprise move, the province of Nova Scotia has announced that it will be undergoing a complete rebranding and officially changing its name to “Newer Brunswick” as early as ne…
Mark Carney promises to take climate change seriously once every other problem on Earth is solved
OTTAWA – After receiving criticism this week for abandoning the Trudeau-era climate plan, Prime Minister Mark Carney has assured Canadians worried about the already deadly effects of global…
Officials announce new AI Data Centres to calculate why heat dome happening
OTTAWA – With much of Canada and the United States gripped by an unseasonal heat wave, federal officials have announced construction of new natural-gas-intensive data centres, aimed at usin…
Editorial: The Human Rights Museum’s Nakba exhibit ignores the important context that I don’t want to hear about it
By: Martin Olsen The Canadian Museum Of Human Rights’ exhibit on the so-called ‘Nakba’ opened this week to widespread condemnation. And now that I have also not seen it, I would…
Premier Eby shifts B.C. stance from ‘pipeline bad’ to ‘pipeline bad but money’
VANCOUVER – During an announcement with Prime Minister Carney, British Columbia Premier David Eby clarified that his province’s previous anti-pipeline stance has been amended to still…
$50 mil for 24 Sussex repairs to be fundraised by Carney starting OnlyFans
“How is this money gonna get raised, they’ll pass the hat? GoFundMe? OnlyFans?” On this special Pride Month episode, Ian MacIntyre (designated ally, he/him) is joined by a speci…
Kawhi asks Toronto restaurant if that Ka’wine & Dine offer still stands
TORONTO – A few minutes after the announcement that he was being traded back to the Toronto Raptors Kawhi Leonard walked into a Queen street restaurant and asked for a meal on the house. &#…
“More, more, keep cutting, cut more!” screams now-bald Carney at terrified barber
OTTAWA, ON ― Suddenly dropping his calm, boring, bankerish public façade, Prime Minister Mark Carney responded to a simple inquiry as to how his haircut was looking so far with a screaming, red-f…
Québécois rock duo Angine de poitrine tops Spotify’s global charts, earns enough to pay for Spotify Premium
SAGUENAY, QC – After topping Spotify’s global charts, the Québécois rock duo Angine de poitrine has reportedly earned enough from the streaming service to pay for the equivalent of “one month of …
