Alex Jones launches GoFundMe to make face even puffier
AUSTIN, TX – Radio show host and conspiracy theorist Alex Jones is once again reaching out to his listener base for help with a new GoFundMe campaign to make his face even more ruddy-lookin…
Toronto City Hall flying Palestinian Flag declared the most innocuous thing Conservative media has ever pissed their pants over
“There is a piece of cloth flying above city hall that I don’t like!!” Luke and the Panel (Clare Blackwood, Nile Seguin and Megan MacKay) talk about the Liberals (barely) passin…
Ontario NDP leader ejected from Question Period after incorrectly labelling Ford gov as “corrupt,” not “evil”
QUEEN’S PARK – Ontario NDP leader Marit Stiles was kicked out of Question Period this morning after criticizing Doug Ford and incorrectly calling him and his entire government “corrupt,” in…
Doug Ford to produce ad where Reagan says that pedophilia is bad
QUEEN’S PARK – Ontario Premier Doug Ford is in production today on a new advertisement meant to play on U.S. television that sees former President Ronald Reagan point out how he, like most people…
Men of Hollywood line up to see who will be first to groom AI actress
Los Angeles, CA – Hollywood is abuzz with rumors surrounding young non-actress Tilly Norwood and which Hollywood groomer will be the first to groom the young AI slop. “We’ve had a few eligi…
Kevin O’Leary petitions Trump to have name added to Epstein Files
TORONTO – With newly released files from notorious sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein implicating President Trump in a world of elite, amoral power players, Canadian businessman Kevin O’L…
Carney orders staffers to bow before speaking to him
OTTAWA – The Prime Minister’s Office has issued a directive that all staffers and civil servants must bow before speaking to Prime Minister Carney. “Upon entering a room in whic…
Vancouver wins “Least Worst Public Transit” award ninth year in a row
NEW WESTMINSTER, B.C. – For the ninth year in a row, celebrations were held at TransLink headquarters after Metro Vancouver won the “Least Worst Public Transit” award from the International…
Modern Mother Teresa? This woman donated to Wikipedia
PICKERING, ON – Budding philanthropist Krista Murphy inspired onlookers last week when she responded to Wikipedia’s call for donation not with apathy, but with a one-time contribution…
Nestlé worried AI will destroy world’s water supply before they do
VEVEY, SWITZERLAND – Nestlé executives gathered from around the world to announce their grave concern regarding the impact that artificial intelligence’s water consumption will have on thei…
