TORONTO, ON – Ontario Premier Doug Ford was on hand as he and other school administrators broke ground on the new FanDuel Toronto Primary School for students in Junior Kindergarten to Grade…
Education
Simon Fraser University renamed to “Students Failed to get into UBC”
BURNABY, B.C. – After much deliberation, Simon Fraser University President Joy Johnson announced that the university has renamed itself to “Students Failed to get into the University of Bri…
Sleepiness credit non-transferable between couch and bed
BRANDON, MB — A local woman has discovered that her accrued credit in sleepiness does not transfer from her couch to her bed. Cory Lachlan, 26, made the disturbing discovery when she finally deci…
McGill says it’s cool if Harvard crashes on their couch until things calm down at home
MONTREAL – McGill University has proposed a temporary living arrangement to Harvard University, allowing the US school to crash on McGill’s couch until such time as things are less crazy at…
Shadowy interests plotting to dismantle education just going to let students use ChatGPT instead
ZÜRICH – The clandestine organization of evil billionaires who have worked for decades to undermine the world’s education systems, thus making the populace easier to control, have rec…
University class discussion forum used exclusively to ask questions already answered in class
OTTAWA, ON ― The latest analysis of a local first-year North American History course discussion forum has revealed that every one of the 173 questions posted there was already answered in class. …
Top 5 courses at Jordan Peterson’s new University
Jordan Peterson has unveiled his “anti-woke” University: Peterson Academy. Which is definitely a real university and not just Conservative MasterClass. Being the curious intellectuals…
Horrible teacher about to become even worse student
TORONTO – Former University of Toronto professor Jordan Peterson has agreed to take social media training in order to keep his license to practice psychology from the College of Psychologis…
Report: Protestor encampment at McGill still cleaner than student residences
MONTREAL – A recent examination of the Pro-Palestine protest encampment set up on the McGill University campus has found that the students involved are currently living in conditions that a…
Olympic anti-sex beds to be donated to college dorms
PARIS – After much deliberation leading up to this year’s event, the International Olympics Committee has decided what to do with the Olympic Village’s infamous anti-sex beds – they will donate t…
