ÉVIAN, FRANCE – The 2026 G7 summit has thus far yielded successful talks between the world’s top leaders, largely due to US President Donald Trump being tricked early on into joining a decoy summit constructed entirely of inflatable set pieces.
“We felt confident that the US president would be at least temporarily tricked by the crude silicone dolls and furniture with which we had constructed an alternate summit,” explained G7 director of operations François LeBarge. “But not only did he not notice at any point how the other world leaders were inanimate objects, but he seems to be genuinely enjoying it much more.”
“He’s the only one talking, and that seems to suit him just fine,” LeBarge noted, as nearby President Trump continued a 2-hour-long story about how Iranian negotiators complimented him on having a larger penis than former US President Obama.
In addition to allowing the remaining G7 members to “get some actual work done”, insiders report an added benefit of the inflatable summit objects being able to cushion the infirm Trump during his many falls.
“Usually Secretary of State Rubio attempts to throw himself onto the floor to break Trump’s falls, but the inflatable ‘Mark Carney’ is much safer,” explained Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy.
At press time, witnesses have noted President Trump feeling up the inflatable Giorgia Meloni.
