DETROIT, MI – Billionaire Matthew Moroun, whose family recently lobbied the Trump administration to publicly threaten the Gordie Howe International Bridge which competes with their interest…
Tag: Trump
Trump threatens bridge to prevent Canadians from visiting country Canadians do not want to visit
WASHINGTON, D.C. – U.S . President Donald Trump has threatened to halt the opening of a international bridge linking Windsor and Detroit, excluding Canadians from country that they have abs…
Trump tells everyone not to worry about his large box labeled “Plans to Take Over the World”
WASHINGTON, D.C. – With President Trump sharing an image of Canada, Venezuela, and Greenland as captured U.S. territory, journalists are starting to ask follow up questions about his large,…
Canada chooses lawful evil over chaotic evil
“We looked around for a neutral evil country to trade with, but couldn’t find one.” Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Clare Blackwood and Nile Seguin) talk about the horrific I…
Furious Trump demands to know why Minneapolis shooting hasn’t sparked civil war yet
MAR-A-LAGO, FL – Following the shooting death of a Minneapolis woman at the hands of ICE agents, President Donald Trump is ordering Americans to “hurry the fuck up” descending i…
“Am I invading Venezuela for oil or to distract from Epstein?” Trump asks coatrack
MAR-A-LAGO, FL – Sources report President Donald J. Trump was seen questioning his own motivations behind a series of shocking recent moves in Venezuela, along with a close confidant who wa…
Quebec legislators brainstorming ideas for which religion to scapegoat next
“This ‘blame Muslims’ thing has been great, but we can’t ride that wave forever.” Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Clare Blackwood and Nile Seguin) talk about the …
White House astonished as Pete Hegseth reads Franklin book all by himself
WASHINGTON D.C. – Officials inside the Trump White House are beaming with pride after US Secretary of War Pete Hegseth was able to complete the classic Canadian children’s book Franklin Fib…
Trump removes tariffs on foreign films that are just as dumb as American ones
WASHINGTON, D.C. – United States President Donald Trump announced that his administration would not implement the intended 100% tariffs on films made outside the US, so long as they are jus…
Marco Rubio reveals Ukraine Peace Plan confusion caused by trip to Liquor Dome
HALIFAX – U.S. lawmakers attending the Halifax International Security Forum reveal that confusion around a leaked peace plan for Ukraine were caused by Secretary of State Marco Rubio spendi…
