MAR-A-LAGO, FL – U.S. President-Elect Donald Trump has unveiled a key component of his plan to make other member nations of NATO invest more in defense; turning America into a viable intern…
Tag: Trump
Defiant Joe Rogan insists he’s not a propaganda asset, just actually this stupid
AUSTIN, TX – Following comments on Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, where multi-millionaire podcaster Joe Rogan blamed Ukrainian defence for “causing World War III”, the podc…
Experts warn Trump dangerously close to figuring out where Canada is
OTTAWA – As the re-election of Donald Trump sends shockwaves throughout geopolitics, experts within Ottawa’s Department of National Defence warn that the temperamental US president ma…
“Democrats better get their shit together before the 2028 election,” says adorable friend who thinks there’s going to be a 2028 election
Kincardine, ON – Local man Allan Terry has expressed his belief that the Democrats need to improve their messaging and policy efforts if they want to win the next Presidential election, cha…
“I can’t believe anyone would vote for Trump,” says smug Canadian man planning to vote for Poilievre
OTTAWA – A smug man from Canada wasted no time this morning chastising Americans for re-electing terrifying liar and felon Donald Trump, despite the fact that he plans to vote for terrifyin…
American Experiment ends in catastrophic laboratory explosion
WASHINGTON D.C. – After almost 250 years of data-gathering, the American experiment has ended in a catastrophic laboratory explosion. “I don’t understand what went wrong!” sighed the facili…
Trump campaign desperately hoping Democrats replace Biden with a different frail 81-year-old
WASHINGTON DC – With Joe Biden announcing his plans to drop out of the US presidential race, Donald Trump’s campaign has publicly asked the Democrats to nominate a similarly ineffectu…
Report: Whatever you need to do to mentally prepare yourself for a second Trump Presidency, go ahead and get started
WASHINGTON D.C. – In the wake of Joe Biden’s debate performance and Donald Trump surviving an assassination attempt, a report from the University of Toronto political sciences departm…
Americans make odd choice to celebrate decision that led them to this point
“UNITED” STATES OF AMERICA – To the surprise of international observers, millions of Americans chose to celebrate the anniversary of their declaration of independence today, des…
Supreme Court rules Trump can and probably should shoot someone on 5th Avenue
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a 6-3 ruling, the United States Supreme Court ruled that former President Donald Trump not only has full immunity from prosecution for any gun murders he might commit, …