WINDSOR, ON – Trump administration officials are struggling to remember which of them specifically was bribed by billionaire donors to block the opening of the recently-constructed Gordie H…
US Trade War
Netflix says CanCon rules will force them to raise prices that they already raised and plan to raise more
SILICON VALLEY, CA – Streaming giant Netflix has fired back at a CRTC report recommending they increase their contributions to Canadian media, insisting this would force them to raise price…
Report: Carney’s plan to protect Canada from US aggression to relocate entire country to Europe
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney has reportedly settled on a last-ditch initiative to keep Canada safe from American instability: physically moving the entire nation to the continent of …
Trump demands Canada give him all their Olympic medals
OTTAWA – Following the closing ceremonies of the 2026 Winter Olympics, Canada’s athletes received an unusual message from President of the United States Donald Trump, stating simply “…
Billionaires who lobbied Trump to halt Canadian bridge praise EZ-Bribe App
DETROIT, MI – Billionaire Matthew Moroun, whose family recently lobbied the Trump administration to publicly threaten the Gordie Howe International Bridge which competes with their interest…
Trump threatens bridge to prevent Canadians from visiting country Canadians do not want to visit
WASHINGTON, D.C. – U.S . President Donald Trump has threatened to halt the opening of a international bridge linking Windsor and Detroit, excluding Canadians from country that they have abs…
Canadian alcoholics reject Kentucky bourbon for getting drunk at work
OTTAWA – With millions returning to work after the holidays, Kentucky bourbon is out and Canadian spirits are in as the choice for Canada’s alcoholics who cannot help but drink on the…
Poilievre lights emergency flares to beg Trump to invade Canada
OTTAWA – Canadian Opposition Leader Pierre Poilievre was reportedly seen lighting emergency flares, in hopes that U.S. President Donald Trump would “liberate” Canada in the same…
Mark Carney turns off geolocation on phone just in case
OTTAWA – This morning, in an unscheduled press statement, the Prime Minister’s Office has said that Prime Minister Mark Carney has turned off geolocation services for all his electron…
Trump removes tariffs on foreign films that are just as dumb as American ones
WASHINGTON, D.C. – United States President Donald Trump announced that his administration would not implement the intended 100% tariffs on films made outside the US, so long as they are jus…
