WASHINGTON D.C. – President Donald Trump has threatened to tariff Canadian goods as a means of forcing Canadians to address circumstances that would cause future forest wildfires, a tactic …
US Trade War
Canadians just so goddamn tired of this bullshit
CANADA – Canadians across the country have collectively unleashed a sigh of agonized frustration while simultaneously stating “Again with this bullshit?” “Help me out in u…
Trump incensed at Canadian wildfires for not blowing smoke up his ass
WASHINGTON D.C. – U.S. President Donald Trump is furious at Canadian wildfires blowing smoke everywhere but up his ass. “This is absolutely unacceptable behaviour from the Canadian environm…
Carney insists he won negotiations to finally open TrumpCoin International Bridge
OTTAWA – Mark Carney is declaring victory after he was able to work out a deal to finally open the TrumpCoin International Bridge, sponsored by Trumpstore.com “Canadians have been wai…
U.S. “We demand Canada stop this alcohol boycott that isn’t working and also we don’t even care”
WASHINGTON D.C. – U.S. lawmakers are demanding several Canada provinces not only stock their spirits again, but also formally acknowledge that the anti-tariff boycott wasn’t working a…
Trump, Lutnick, and Hoekstra forget which of them got paid off to halt Gordie Howe Bridge
WINDSOR, ON – Trump administration officials are struggling to remember which of them specifically was bribed by billionaire donors to block the opening of the recently-constructed Gordie H…
Netflix says CanCon rules will force them to raise prices that they already raised and plan to raise more
SILICON VALLEY, CA – Streaming giant Netflix has fired back at a CRTC report recommending they increase their contributions to Canadian media, insisting this would force them to raise price…
Report: Carney’s plan to protect Canada from US aggression to relocate entire country to Europe
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney has reportedly settled on a last-ditch initiative to keep Canada safe from American instability: physically moving the entire nation to the continent of …
Trump demands Canada give him all their Olympic medals
OTTAWA – Following the closing ceremonies of the 2026 Winter Olympics, Canada’s athletes received an unusual message from President of the United States Donald Trump, stating simply “…
Billionaires who lobbied Trump to halt Canadian bridge praise EZ-Bribe App
DETROIT, MI – Billionaire Matthew Moroun, whose family recently lobbied the Trump administration to publicly threaten the Gordie Howe International Bridge which competes with their interest…
