WASHINGTON D.C. – President Trump, a man who was elected based on his self-proclaimed “deal-making genius”, has failed to secure a trade deal with Canada, a nation most known fo…
US Trade War
Beaverton Breakdown: Every Canadian premier’s demands in return for agreeing to restock American alcohol
Reports indicate Prime Minister Carney has asked Canadian premiers to remove their individual U.S. alcohol bans, as federal officials attempt to finalize a trade deal with the Trump administratio…
Trump throws himself military parade after bravely chickening out on Canadian tariffs
WASHINGTON D.C. – Hours after heroically declaring a pause on tariffs aimed at destroying the Canadian economy, President Trump has organized yet another military parade for himself to comm…
Carney imposes 50% tariffs on U.S. for fake Canadian girlfriends
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney’s latest move in the ongoing trade war against the U.S. has been described as possibly his most aggressive, as he announced last week that his government…
Breaking: Man who keeps shitting himself in public tough to pin down on international trade deal
“I wonder why diaper grandpa keeps changing his mind on CUSMA?” Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre and Janel Comeau) talk about the latest in the Trade War, the debate about whether Co…
Trump threat to tariff Canada over wildfire smoke closest he will ever come to understanding climate change
WASHINGTON D.C. – President Donald Trump has threatened to tariff Canadian goods as a means of forcing Canadians to address circumstances that would cause future forest wildfires, a tactic …
Canadians just so goddamn tired of this bullshit
CANADA – Canadians across the country have collectively unleashed a sigh of agonized frustration while simultaneously stating “Again with this bullshit?” “Help me out in u…
Trump incensed at Canadian wildfires for not blowing smoke up his ass
WASHINGTON D.C. – U.S. President Donald Trump is furious at Canadian wildfires blowing smoke everywhere but up his ass. “This is absolutely unacceptable behaviour from the Canadian environm…
Carney insists he won negotiations to finally open TrumpCoin International Bridge
OTTAWA – Mark Carney is declaring victory after he was able to work out a deal to finally open the TrumpCoin International Bridge, sponsored by Trumpstore.com “Canadians have been wai…
U.S. “We demand Canada stop this alcohol boycott that isn’t working and also we don’t even care”
WASHINGTON D.C. – U.S. lawmakers are demanding several Canada provinces not only stock their spirits again, but also formally acknowledge that the anti-tariff boycott wasn’t working a…
