With wildfire smoke drifting down from Canada into Michigan, New York and other states, numerous Americans have once again taken to social media to complain about Canada ruining their summers and “sending” our smoke to them. And they’re right. So we at The Beaverton wanted to introduce you to the government employee who oversees the ‘wildfire smoke pipeline to the U.S.’ team: 47 year old Peter Keane.
“I’m very fortunate to work with a passionate team of climatologists, ecologists and one guy named Mark who just fucking hates Americans,” said Keane. “And every year we work around the clock to ensure that we create the right circumstances to send thousands of litres of smoke across the Great Lakes and into the eyes and throats of people in the U.S.”
“Why do we do this, you ask? Just ‘cuz” he added.
Peter and his team use a variety of methods to ensure success, including setting up giant fans pointing south, forest de-management, and of course starting the fires themselves at the opportune time.
“The thing about massive fires in boreal forests far away from any major infrastructure which get so hot that water literally melts before making contact, is that they’re actually very easy to control.”
In order to better camouflage their efforts Peter and his team started their work around 5 years ago, right around the time humanity crossed the ‘no return’ point of climate change scientists have been warning about for years.
When asked what’s next Peter didn’t want to spoil anything but did say he and the team have been brainstorming.
“You know how hurricanes usually sweep up from Florida and then smash into the Atlantic provinces? Well what if they went… the other way?” he asked with a wink.
