Editor: Ok unnamed writer. Trump just ‘Truthed’ that he was going to do a 35% tariff on all products sent into the U.S. from Canada. And I know the last 15 times he did this we scrambled to write…
Tag: Featured Post
Poilievre worried there won’t be enough government left for him to cut
“Save some for me Mark!” Luke and the Panel (Nile Séguin and Clare Blackwood) break down Mark Carney enacting spending cuts that even Harper wouldn’t dream of, and then dive int…
Carney confident government can meet spending cut goals as long as they make life a little worse for every Canadian
OTTAWA – Mark Carney has unveiled an “ambitious” plan to cut government spending by 7.5% next year, and 15% by 2029, figures he truly believes his government can manage as long …
As part of negotiations with Trump, Carney agrees to celebrate Canada Day on July 4th
OTTAWA – In order to secure an economic agreement with Trump, PM Mark Carney has announced that, beginning in 2026, Canada will celebrate our national day of celebration on July 4th, just l…
The A&W Guy is dating your mom and you’re surprisingly okay with it
TORONTO – The pleasant bald man from the A&W commercials is seeing your mother, but you know what? It doesn’t bother you. “He’s a nice man,” says your 63-year-old mother. “The A&W G…
Report: as long as this is the one ceasefire in a thousand that Israel doesn’t break, everything will be fine
Once in a blue moon, a ceasefire in the Middle East involving Israel actually holds. Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Megan MacKay and Nile Seguin) talk about Trump starting WWIII and then gett…
Liberals promise anti-democratic components of Bill C-5 will be used sparingly as long as Conservatives never get in power again
OTTAWA – Shortly after jamming through a law that allows Cabinet to ignore Parliamentary Accountability for energy projects, Liberal MPs are confident that these provisions will only be use…
Florida, Calgary win Stanley Cup Final
SUNRISE, FL – The Florida Panthers have defeated the Edmonton Oilers in the Stanley Cup Final, securing both Florida and Calgary their second consecutive Cup victory over Edmonton. “I’m happy my …
Dad raises shirt a bit to air out belly, rub it
TORONTO – Local father Ray Teramoto has untucked his t-shirt to expose his hairy belly and rub it while watching television, according to sources familiar with the situation. “Tucking in hi…
“Eh, fuck it”: Montreal F1 driver takes an Uber
MONTREAL, QUEBEC – The annual Montreal Grand Prix has arrived, but one championship-winning Formula One driver decided to forego the traditional lavish displays of the competition and enter…
