MEDICINE HAT, AB – A local woman who claims to miss her ex-boyfriend really just misses her ex’s pet cat. “He was always so warm and affectionate, you know?” said Isabelle Lang, staring wistfully…
Relationship
Breaking: Wife finishes cup of coffee
Drumheller, AB – While clearing the table one morning, local husband Vince Hefflund was shocked to discover that the coffee mug his wife had been drinking from was empty. “I’ve never seen anythi…
Long awaited sex bots arrive, immediately self destruct rather than deal with men
LAS VEGAS – A massive fire destroyed the RealGirlz Headquarters in Las Vegas, Nevada on Friday morning which CEO and founder Jeff Morrow called a “deliberate act of arson.” Morrow, who firs…
Report: Girlfriend watching movie wrong
GUELPH, ON – In a disturbing development that has led one man to seriously reconsider whether these are the genetics he wants to pass on to his future children, local woman Sarah Russell ha…
The A&W Guy is dating your mom and you’re surprisingly okay with it
TORONTO – The pleasant bald man from the A&W commercials is seeing your mother, but you know what? It doesn’t bother you. “He’s a nice man,” says your 63-year-old mother. “The A&W G…
Guy who can’t find the clitoris really into AI art
VICTORIA, BC – A local man who has never once found a woman’s clitoris has really gotten into AI art. “AI is the best,” claimed Shawn Owens, 29, as he played a video game created by real human be…
Non-confrontational couple spends night saying “Whatever works for you” before quietly falling asleep
JASPER BC—According to sources close to the matter, primarily their quietly baffled cat, Muffins, Hannah Mitchell and Victor Chang successfully spent five straight hours on Friday date night refu…
Woman really impressed by how much date knows about DraftKings
EDMONTON – Local woman Melissa Orlon has reported that she is “over the moon” and “soooo blown away” by the depth of familiarity, passion and expertise her date of last night had for the on…
Restaurant lets customer pick lobster they want to fuck
HALIFAX – To the delight of its longstanding customers, Jimmy’s Seafood and Steak Shack has recently installed a 200 galleon tank full of live lobsters so customers can have their pick of which o…
With pickleball surging in popularity, we tested which paddles are also good for spanking
TORONTO – Pickleball is one of Canada’s fastest growing sports, with its estimated 1.37 million players representing a massive increase over the eight people who played when the sport was last su…
