OTTAWA – Pierre Poilievre continues to refute all Liberal Party attempts to tie him to President Donald Trump, insisting that if people pay close attention they’ll see he’s way …
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“I can’t believe anyone would vote for Trump,” says smug Canadian man planning to vote for Poilievre
OTTAWA – A smug man from Canada wasted no time this morning chastising Americans for re-electing terrifying liar and felon Donald Trump, despite the fact that he plans to vote for terrifyin…
Justin Trudeau announces another thing for Poilievre to cancel next year
OTTAWA – Yesterday Justin Trudeau made a bold commitment, announcing billions of dollars in funding for a massive government program to make Canadians lives better in some way, which Pierre…
The Beaverton Is Dying. Unless You Save It
Beloved Readers, When we started The Beaverton we were just a bunch of smartasses trying to make each other laugh during our weekly meeting on the second floor of a disgusting pub behind Honest E…
Trudeau to cut immigration so he has less competition for his job search next year
OTTAWA – Canada’s Liberal government has lowered immigration targets in the hopes Justin Trudeau sees less competition in the private sector job market when he starts sending around resumes…
5 funniest options for which Conservative MP engaged in foreign interference
Yesterday Justin Trudeau stated that Conservative “Parliamentarians” are engaged in foreign interference in Canadian elections. And many observers pointed out that it was a bit odd fo…
Trudeau invites Canadians to play a new game called ‘Guess That Traitor!’
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau unveiled a new game for Canadians to play during his testimony before the committee on foreign interference in Canada’s elections, in which people wil…
Poll: Only Canadians still planning to vote for Trudeau are Conservative Premiers who get to blame him for all their failures
OTTAWA: A new poll by Abacus has found that the Liberals support has plummeted so low that the only support they have left is the Conservative Premiers who get to remain popular while Canadians b…
Trudeau, Colbert bond over shared status of ‘guys who were cool a decade ago’
NEW YORK CITY – Canadian PM Justin Trudeau appeared on The Late Show yesterday, where he and host Stephen Colbert got to enjoy reminiscing on how cool they were 8-10 years ago. “My ne…
Co-worker that everyone hates surprised he can’t get colleagues to do what he wants
OTTAWA – Local man Pierre Poilievre, an employee at an Ottawa small business named the House of Commons, was surprised that none of the colleagues who despise him were willing to support hi…