OTTAWA – Mark Carney has unveiled an “ambitious” plan to cut government spending by 7.5% next year, and 15% by 2029, figures he truly believes his government can manage as long …
National
As part of negotiations with Trump, Carney agrees to celebrate Canada Day on July 4th
OTTAWA – In order to secure an economic agreement with Trump, PM Mark Carney has announced that, beginning in 2026, Canada will celebrate our national day of celebration on July 4th, just l…
Liberals promise anti-democratic components of Bill C-5 will be used sparingly as long as Conservatives never get in power again
OTTAWA – Shortly after jamming through a law that allows Cabinet to ignore Parliamentary Accountability for energy projects, Liberal MPs are confident that these provisions will only be use…
Carney limits G7 guests to one assassination each
OTTAWA – After inviting Indian PM Narendra Modi Prime Minister Mark Carney issued strict rules for the upcoming G7 meeting in Kananaskis, Alberta, limiting assassinations to one per guest n…
Premiers united in belief that the best way to stand up to Trump is doing what they’ve always wanted to do anyways
SASKATOON – As they gather with PM Mark Carney for the meeting of First Ministers, the Premiers of Canada’s provinces are steadfast in their belief that the best way to oppose Donald …
Canada Post counters union negotiations, asking workers to split the bill on billion dollar deficit
OTTAWA – Negotiators for the Canadian Union of Postal Workers were reportedly speechless following the latest proposal from Canada Post: that all employees kick in to help cover last year&#…
Pierre Poilievre attends Speech From The Throne with face pressed against Senate window
OTTAWA – As King Charles read the Speech From The Throne Conservative Party of Canada leader and not MP Pierre Poilievre was seen outside the Senate with his face pressed against the window…
Canada counters American annexation with reminder it already belongs to elderly King
OTTAWA – After repeated threats of annexation from Donald Trump, Canada has made the bold move of reminding the world it already bends the knee to a weird, elderly King. “Canada is a proud,…
Convicted “Freedom Convoy” organizers hoping Trump will pardon them
OTTAWA – After being found guilty of criminal mischief, “Freedom Convoy” organizers Chris Barber and Tamara Lich insist they are not worried about what kind of sentence they’ll face as they’re su…
Twelve hours of not thanking the bus driver and other atrocities witnessed during Canadian version of The Purge
OTTAWA – Reports are coming in that Canadians from coast to coast engaged in horrifying acts of rudeness, thoughtlessness, and impoliteness during this year’s Purge Day: Canadian Edition. “…
