OTTAWA – Reports from homes across the nation have indicated that they’ve hurt their back shovelling snow once again. “God dammit, my fucking back,” said Keith, David, Ste…
National
Sunwing criticized for not making emergency release of drunken, maskless passengers at 35,000 feet
MONTREAL – Federal officials have blasted Sunwing airlines for not making an emergency release of its unruly and maskless passengers on a chartered flight from Montreal to Cancun. The trave…
Military official charged with sexual assault – no not the same one as yesterday, a new one
OTTAWA – The Canadian Armed Forces’ former head of human resources, Vice-Admiral Hayden Edmundson, has been charged with sexual assault this week in news you’re sure you heard already even …
Canada announces travel restrictions for vaccines heading to other countries
OTTAWA – In response to the new omicron variant of Covid-19 the Canadian government has announced new travel restrictions, aimed at preventing any vaccines from leaving Canada for other cou…
Study: MPs spend majority of their time fantasizing about beating up Pierre Poilievre
OTTAWA – An independent study tracking how our elected Members of Parliament spend their day has found that, in average work week, the majority of an MPs time is spent sitting at their desk…
Canadian media promise to start reporting on RCMP raiding Wet’suwet’en territory once a few more American celebrities tweet about it
OTTAWA – Members of Canada’s national and local press are assuring Canadians that they will start to cover the RCMP’s violent and quite possibly illegal raid on sovereign Wet…
Liberals change date and add “for realsies this time” to throne speech
OTTAWA – In the midst of another turbulent year for Canada, Justin Trudeau has put forward a bold legislative vision in his latest throne speech by adding “and this time we’re totes going to do i…
Feds to lower flags to quarter-mast on Remembrance Day
OTTAWA – Heritage Canada has announced all Canadian flags will be lowered to quarter mas or “just above shoulder-level” for Remembrance Day. “Instead of making a complicated decision on whe…
Unemployed anti vaxxer reassured he can always get work as a National Post columnist
TORONTO – After losing his long-term health care job for endangering his colleagues and patients, local vaccine denier Tim Hubble has been reassured by Postmedia he can work as one of their…
Canadian Army considers removing sexual misconduct as a prerequisite for leadership
KINGSTON – While controversy builds in the halls of the Canadian military as candidate after candidate for advancement comes under investigation, Army bosses are considering dropping the se…