TORONTO – Following reports that thousands of people have mistakenly shown up to Rogers Centre for concerts happening at Rogers Stadium, the Rogers Centre has installed brand new signs outside ea…
Toronto
Doug Ford celebrates bike lane court victory with public execution of local cycling group
QUEEN’S PARK – After the Ontario Court of Appeals overruled a lower court decision stopping Doug Ford from ripping out 19 kilometres of bike lanes in Toronto today, the Ontario premier cele…
Cancelling of Billy Bishop expansion leaves Ford wondering if this is a bad time to tell Ontario he bought another private jet
QUEEN’S PARK – The Federal Government has announced it will not support a proposed expansion of Billy Bishop Airport, leaving Premier Doug Ford searching for the right moment to infor…
Toronto air quality plummets to 1990s bingo hall levels
TORONTO — Environment Canada has warned that wildfire smoke drifting from Northwestern Ontario has reduced Toronto’s air quality to 1990s bingo hall levels. Elderly Toronto bingo players were amo…
Max Scherzer re-signs with Blues Jays for chance to win, get even with guy who cut him off on DVP
DUNEDIN, FL – In an effort to address unresolved trauma from the 2025 season, veteran pitcher ‘Mad’ Max Scherzer announced he will re-sign with the Toronto Blue Jays to give himself another shot …
Buck Martinez announces he is getting up, getting out of here, and gone
ROGERS CENTRE BROADCAST BOOTH – After spending over four decades with the Blue Jays as a player, manager, and announcer, Buck Martinez announced this morning that he would officially be get…
TTC promises to get Finch West LRT travel time under 24 hours
“If we get signal priority sorted, you should be able to get from Finch West to Humber in only a standard business day.” Luke and the Panel (Nile Seguin, Clare Blackwood and Megan Mac…
“You can totally tell this movie was shot in Toronto,” says man about movie set in Toronto
TORONTO – While watching a movie at home with friends, local cinephile Jacob Meznik repeatedly pointed out all the times the movie gave away that it was clearly shot in Toronto, blissfully …
Terrified Jays fan still trapped inside Game 3
TORONTO – Following a World Series game against the LA Dodgers that went into multiple extra innings, local Blue Jays fan Mike Cortner reports that he appears to be trapped inside a metaphy…
TTC announces subway closure due to ‘not feeling it today’
TORONTO – This week the TTC announced via social media that all subway lines will be closed today due to subway workers ‘just not feeling it.’ The statement written by TTC CEO Mandeep Lali explai…
