OTTAWA – A recent amendment to Canadian content laws has set a minimum quota for the celebrity partners of former Canadian Prime Ministers, requiring at least 55% of pop stars dated by reti…
Culture
B4-4, Sugar Jones, Serial Joe announce withdrawal from Trump’s Freedom 250 Celebration
WASHINGTON D.C. – After facing cancellations from numerous d-list musicians, organizers of the Trump-aligned Freedom 250 Celebration have reportedly also seen withdrawals from similarly obs…
Boomer Dad loses Asian restaurant privileges
BARRIE, ON – After decades of refusal to comply with his family’s requests, local dad, Chris White, 77, has finally lost his Asian restaurant privileges. The decision was finalized after an argum…
Armageddon 2: Asteroid saves Earth from U.S. in Michael Bay sequel
LOS ANGELES – Twenty-eight years after Bruce Willis and a ragtag crew of oil drillers saved humanity from cosmic annihilation, Hollywood is finally answering the question nobody asked: Wha…
BREAKING: This nepo baby sure hates it when you call them a nepo baby
Los Angeles, CA – Recent interviews with famous people who have benefitted from their familiar relations have gone sour as interviewers correctly described them as nepo babies. “I am not a …
Andrew Tate says “chances of him visiting Canada are zero” after learning nation frowns on indicted sex offenders
BUCHAREST, ROMANIA – Notorious manosphere influencer and indicted sex trafficker Andrew Tate announced on his podcast that he will never set foot in Canada, specifically after learning the …
World mourns simpler time when internet was just Chuck Norris memes
HOLLYWOOD, CA – Mourners worldwide are gathering to fondly remember a time when the internet was primarily used to share humorous memes about action star Chuck Norris, who also died today a…
Music festival fan regales friends about $700 show that sounds like worst experience possible
Osheaga, Quebec – Avid music festival goer Larry Rockton is in the middle of an epic story about an expensive music festival he went to recently that sounds like the worst experience a pers…
New Oscar category for “Best Cast” won by Bobby, who tried to climb the tube slide
Lunenburg, NS- In advance of the 2026 Oscars, the first-ever Academy Award for Best Cast has been won by Lunenburg Elementary second grader Bobby Smithers, earned after falling from the school’s …
Ben Mulroney accidentally shares video with fake footage of him being a respected media figure
TORONTO – Ben Mulroney, temporary host of Global News’ political affairs program The West Block and self-proclaimed “Not A Journalist,” recently accidentally shared a fake footage video of …
