NEW YORK CITY - As more frontline workers opt to quit minimum wage jobs that could expose them to COVID, Company CEOs say they are furious that people would simply stay home and "cash benefit che…
Conservatives starting to wonder if it’s a mistake to always choose the least likeable person on earth as leader
OTTAWA – Staring down the possibility of their third straight electoral defeat, members of the Conservative Party of Canada are beginning to entertain the notion that it may not be the wise…
“Who are we to say whether you should get the AstraZeneca vaccine or not?” says National Advisory Committee on Immunization
OTTAWA – The National Advisory Committee on Immunization has been accused of causing confusion by telling Canadians they “should do whatever feels right to them” with respect to…
🔒 Zoom call with American friends now depressing in the other direction
Richmond, B.C. - A monthly zoom call which previously consisted of Canadian man Jalen Montclair consoling his American friends now consists of his American friends consoling Jalen. "Ever since th…
“It’s not fair to blame Kenney for a pandemic,” says man who blamed Notley for a wildfire
CALGARY – As Albertans continue to suffer as a result of the province’s poor handling of COVID-19, local man Dave Struthers, who once said Premier Notley’s handling of the 2016 …
Doug Ford wins best actor Oscar for performance pretending to care about people dying of COVID
TORONTO – In an upset win, Ontario Premier Doug Ford took home the Academy Award for Best Leading Actor due to his performance crying crocodile tears for all the people dying of COVID as a …
Canada more divided than ever between have-not and have-idiot-premier provinces
OTTAWA – Despite years of equalization payments, a new study has found that there is an increasing divide between the have-not and have-idiot-premier provinces. “The have-nots in our …
🔒 ‘Over Asking’ portion of Sold Over Asking yard sign real fucking unnecessary
TORONTO - As housing prices continue to skyrocket, many are pointing out that Realtors' habit of putting the 'Over Asking' next to their Sold sign is probably not needed at this point. "Every sin…
“It’s not a carbon tax,” says O’Toole about his carbon tax
OTTAWA – Erin O’Toole pushed back against critics who have accused his plan for a carbon tax of being a carbon tax. “Our carbon levy is in no way a tax,” said O’Tool…
Ford: we thought having a confusing mess of vaccine registration sites would give people in lockdown something to do
TORONTO – Premier Doug Ford defended the shambolic vaccine registration process this morning, noting it gives Ontarians stuck at home something to spend all their time doing. “All pandemic …