Bill 1: Alberta Sovereignty Within A (temporarily) United Canada WHEREAS the federal government is a fuckin’ clown show bud; WHEREAS PM Justin Trudeau keeps making laws despite repeated req…
Danielle Smith mandates that Alberta students must have at least 2 infectious diseases at all times
EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Danielle Smith has carried on her government’s fight against the fight against COVID by mandating that all Alberta students come to school with at least 2 i…
“Toronto is the most multicultural city in the world,” brags unicultural man to unicultural friends
TORONTO – Local white man Aaron Burton recently talked with his group of entirely white friends about how great it was to live in a city with so much diversity. “Multiculturalism is w…
“The Freedom Convoy Protest wasn’t an emergency,” says man who doesn’t live in Ottawa
Kamloops, BC – Local man Mark Howerston is confident the Freedom Convoy occupation of Ottawa was not enough of an emergency to justify the Trudeau government’s use of the Emergencies …
“No one said we’d be good this year” claims Sens fan who spent all summer saying team would be good this year
OTTAWA – Tired of being mocked for the team’s poor performance, Ottawa Senators fan David Martinson is reminding everyone that the team was expected to struggle, despite spending the …
Swiss Chalet, Durex team up for Chalet Sauce flavoured lube
TORONTO – Recipe Unlimited Corporation, the owners of Swiss Chalet, have announced a collaboration with sex accessories corporation Durex that will finally see the release of Chalet Sauce f…
“You should totally have kids!” says friend who should not have had kids
Windsor, ON – Jacob Framer, a man who should never in a million years be allowed to care for young children, has recently been heard encouraging various friends and family members to procre…
‘See No Covid, Hear No Covid’ strategy working about as well as expected
OTTAWA – As cases skyrocket around the country and hospitals are overwhelmed, the federal and provincial health approach of ‘see no covid, hear no covid’ has been called into qu…
Democrats just as shocked as you that they didn’t fuck up this election
WASHINGTON D.C. – As Democrats look poised to expand their majority in the Senate and remain competitive in the House, numerous Democratic representatives and party elders have come forward…
Ford: Kids too young to learn their own anatomy are mature enough to be political pawns
TORONTO – Premier Doug Ford clarified today that Ontario’s young students remain too young to learn the proper names for genitalia but are definitely mature enough to be used as polit…