OTTAWA – The federal government announced plans this week to upgrade their dated military by hiring the most powerful weapon they can think of: an eight-year-old with a water gun. “For years, our…
Tag: Canada
Writers Guild members celebrate deal by coming up with excuses to do writing later
HOLLYWOOD, CA – Following a months-long strike that saw the Writers Guild of America negotiating with Hollywood producers for fair wages and protections against AI writing programs, members…
House of Commons speaker relieved Japanese veteran who fought against China couldn’t make it
OTTAWA – House of Commons speaker Anthony Rota has expressed his relief that the Japanese veteran, whom he was intending to honour for fighting against China, was unable to appear. “Wow, re…
India issues advisory warning travellers against assassinating people in Canada
NEW DELHI – India has warned its citizens to exercise the “utmost caution” when attempting to covertly assassinate people in Canada. In a statement issued on its website, India’s Ministry o…
5 solutions to fix housing prices that are never, ever making them less expensive
As the average price of a Canadian house hit $668,754 in July, up by more than 6% in past year, homeowners and renters across the country are feeling the squeeze. Canadians, particularly millenni…
Trudeau assures worried Liberal staffers he will remain influential and wealthy after electoral collapse
OTTAWA – With polls showing Conservatives trouncing the federal Liberals in a hypothetical election, Prime Minister Trudeau reassured worried party staffers that he will suffer almost no lo…
Canadian flag updated to show maple leaf burning in wildfire
OTTAWA – As a summer season of wildfires rages across the nation, the Federal Government has updated the Canadian flag to more accurately depict the maple leaf burning in an uncontrolled wi…
Taylor Swift confirms Toronto is Canada’s Only City
TORONTO – Yesterday Taylor Swift announced plans to bring her Eras Tour to Canada with a 6 night run in the country’s only city. “I’m so excited to bring my show to THE ci…
Following announcement, Trudeau requests no questions regarding his separation or housing or inflation
OTTAWA – Following the surprise public announcement that he and wife Sophie Gregoire Trudeau will be separating, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has requested the media refrain from asking an…
Canada’s grocery companies pretending not to hear about falling inflation rate
OTTAWA – Statistics Canada reports that the national inflation rate has fallen for a second consecutive month, and the nation’s grocery stores are dutifully pretending not to hear about it.…