OTTAWA — After being sworn in as Canada’s new Prime Minister yesterday, Mark Carney’s first official act was to kill the carbon tax, and by doing so, killing all of Pierre Poilievre’s hopes and d…
Tag: Canada
Mark Carney promises to grow every Canadians’ Optimum points
OTTAWA – Liberal Leader candidate Mark Carney vows to improve the PC Optimum points situation for every Canadian. Speaking to a group of financial experts at the International Banking Feder…
Trudeau announces counter tariffs on any Trump businesses that haven’t already gone bankrupt
OTTAWA – Following America’s unprecedented levying of 25% tariffs on all Canadian products, Prime Minister Trudeau announced that Canada will apply retaliatory tariffs to specific US …
Aligning themselves with Trump works out just as well for U.S. hockey players as it did for Ted Cruz
BOSTON – After explicitly praising Donald Trump’s support of their team and even hoping they can “win for him” U.S. hockey players discovered what Ted Cruz and numerous ot…
Canada annexes 4 Nations Championship
BOSTON, MA – The Canadian men’s hockey team has successfully seized the 4 Nations hockey championship from their American opponents, completing their annexation of the trophy nearly halfway throu…
Man who was happy to see snow for climate change reasons now back to angry
SCARBOROUGH, ON – Local man Geoff Bridgley, who recently expressed enthusiasm at this winter’s robust snowfall in the face of bleak worldwide climate change indicators, has now revert…
Trump on 51st State: “Canada needs America’s protection from countries like America”
WASHINGTON D.C. – Asked about his earlier comments regarding Canada becoming the 51st state, President Donald Trump clarified that Canada needs America to offer it protection from hostile a…
Canadian hockey fans prepare to call the 4 Nations Face-Off a brilliant idea or some made-up bullshit depending on whether we win
MONTREAL – As Team Canada gets set to play its first game in the inaugural 4 Nations Face-Off, fans across the country are ready to either celebrate a generation-defining victory or dismiss a tot…
New US tariffs force Canada to use excess steel, aluminum in construction of 200 ft Mecha-Gosling
OTTAWA – With US President Trump instituting 25% tariffs on all steel and aluminum imports, Canada has elected to use their excess metals in the most sensible way possible – by constr…
Canada uses Super Bowl distraction to burn down White House again
WASHINGTON D.C. – After an estimated 113 million Americans tuned in to watch Super Bowl LIX, the nation arose Monday morning to discover that Canadian forces had used the opportunity to onc…
