OTTAWA – With polls showing Conservatives trouncing the federal Liberals in a hypothetical election, Prime Minister Trudeau reassured worried party staffers that he will suffer almost no lo…
Tag: Canada
Canadian flag updated to show maple leaf burning in wildfire
OTTAWA – As a summer season of wildfires rages across the nation, the Federal Government has updated the Canadian flag to more accurately depict the maple leaf burning in an uncontrolled wi…
Taylor Swift confirms Toronto is Canada’s Only City
TORONTO – Yesterday Taylor Swift announced plans to bring her Eras Tour to Canada with a 6 night run in the country’s only city. “I’m so excited to bring my show to THE ci…
Following announcement, Trudeau requests no questions regarding his separation or housing or inflation
OTTAWA – Following the surprise public announcement that he and wife Sophie Gregoire Trudeau will be separating, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has requested the media refrain from asking an…
Canada’s grocery companies pretending not to hear about falling inflation rate
OTTAWA – Statistics Canada reports that the national inflation rate has fallen for a second consecutive month, and the nation’s grocery stores are dutifully pretending not to hear about it.…
Loblaws raises price of bread to exact amount of federal grocery rebate
BRAMPTON – In an effort to help Canadians struggling with inflation, Loblaws announced that they will be permanently pegging the price of bread to the exact amount of money a single adult i…
Canadian NHL teams ranked by how furious I would be if they win a Cup before the Leafs
No Canadian team has won the Stanley Cup since 1993 (by pure coincidence the year Gary Bettman became NHL commissioner). And every year one team gets close there is a suggestion that all Canadian…
Report: Woman accidentally told a Manitoban she’s “from Winnipeg” and now has to admit she’s from Portage la Prairie
MONTREAL – After telling a stranger in downtown Montreal that she’s “from Winnipeg” 31-year-old Portage La Prairie resident Sadie Nielson was horrified to discover that the stranger in fact…
RCMP wonders how evil they’ll be in another 150 years
OTTAWA – After celebrating their 150th anniversary, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police have started to wonder what level of unspeakable villainy they will be able to achieve after reaching t…
Canada hits 40 million people, 40 available houses
OTTAWA – The federal government has announced that Canada has hit a major landmark, as a 40th house came onto the market just as the national population reached 40 million. “When Canada was found…