BURNABY, BC ― As inflation runs rampant and dress codes grow more relaxed, more people are dispensing with clothing altogether, prompting calls for public officials to increase fines for indecent…
Money
RBC launches new Canadian Groceries Loan Program
TORONTO – At a press conference held outside Toronto’s Friendly Harvest Food Bank, RBC announced its latest financial offering: the new Canadian Groceries Loan Program. The program aims to …
Millennials could save money just by making coffee at a Starbucks franchise they personally own
OTTAWA – A new report has discovered that Canadian Millennials can save an average of $1800 per year and dramatically improve their chances of home ownership simply by switching to making t…
Greedy, overpaid teacher takes second greedy, overpaid job at grocery store
No Frills, Ontario – Wealth-hoarding public school teachers across the province are starting to take second jobs after complaining that the hundreds of dollars they make per year isn’t enou…
“I’m glad inflation is finally under control,” says man on verge of losing house
MISSISSAUGA – In response to recent reports from the Bank of Canada, Canadians across the country are celebrating that inflation is finally under control, amongst them local man Bryan Fergu…
Trudeau announces he will ban inflation
OTTAWA – In a bold legislative move to combat the ongoing rise in inflation, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has announced he plans to declare the unavoidable byproduct of the modern monetary…
Canada to discourage use of physical money by putting images of Charles on it
OTTAWA – The Government of Canada confirmed this week that images of Charles Mountbatten-Windsor, an unpopular foreign billionaire, will soon be placed on Canada’s coinage and $20 bills in …
Scab taxpayers audit themselves
OTTAWA – 35,000 Canada Revenue Agency workers remain on strike this week as part of a larger strike of over 100,000 Public Service Alliance of Canada (PSAC) workers, and enterprising citize…
CIBC unveils new “Pauper’s Grave” retirement plan
TORONTO – In an acknowledgement of the financial struggles many Canadians are facing, CIBC has announced a new investment plan to help customers scrape through lives of quiet desperation until th…
In order to retire average Canadian will need to set aside 100% of income every month
OTTAWA – A new survey by BMO financial group has concluded that Canadians will need approximately $1.7M saved in order to retire, a figure to achieve which a Canadian earning an average inc…