OTTAWA – In light of economic difficulties facing the nation, Prime Minister Mark Carney reminded Canadians to pause their own holiday celebrations and give generously to billionaire shareh…
Money
Canadian economy rallies as #1 export now Heated Rivalry
OTTAWA – Canada’s economy, which has spent the year reeling due to American tariffs, is finishing strong thanks to the country’s new chief export, the gay hockey-romance drama H…
Modern Mother Teresa? This woman donated to Wikipedia
PICKERING, ON – Budding philanthropist Krista Murphy inspired onlookers last week when she responded to Wikipedia’s call for donation not with apathy, but with a one-time contribution…
Economy stalls as Canada Post strike prevents grandmothers from mailing birthday money
OTTAWA – The ongoing Canada Post strike has impacted the ability of grandmothers across the nation to send you “a few dollars” on your birthday, which has been discovered to be …
CRA addresses long call centre wait times by hiring CRA scammers
OTTAWA – In an effort to cut down call centre wait times, the Canada Revenue Agency has hired a new team of agents uniquely equipped to handle calls from concerned taxpayers: scammers who say you…
Mark Carney questions why struggling young Canadians not setting up offshore tax havens
OTTAWA – At a recent campaign stop, Prime Minister Mark Carney admitted to being genuinely puzzled why more cash-strapped young Canadians aren’t using elite asset management firms to …
“Not All Billionaires!” says billionaire Mark Cuban
Dallas, Texas —Amid growing concerns about the influence of the ultra-wealthy, billionaire Mark Cuban has issued a heartfelt plea via the jumbotron at the Dallas Mavericks stadium, “Not all billi…
Jesus announces even he can no longer save in this economy
PARADISE, NS ― In a new testament to the widespread challenges of inflation, Jesus Christ has admitted that he is really no longer in a position to save these days. “I used to devote my life to t…
CRA knows home office being used for non-work purposes, you fucking liar
OTTAWA — The Canada Revenue Agency confirmed this week that it is fully aware you’ve been using your home office for non-work purposes, you fucking liar. “Do you think we’re stupid? Are we just c…
Wealthy Canadians demand the Liberals also raise taxes on the capital gains of the poor
OTTAWA – After learning the new federal budget will increase the amount of tax paid by people who make more than $250,000 in capital gains in a year, Canada’s richest citizens are demanding…
