OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney has reportedly settled on a last-ditch initiative to keep Canada safe from American instability: physically moving the entire nation to the continent of …
Tag: Mark Carney
Carney to replace Steven Guilbeault’s seat with burning tailings pond
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney has absorbed the resignation from Parliament by climate activist Steven Guilbeault, immediately announcing that his seat would be replaced with a tar san…
Soon-to-be grounded Snowbirds promise to make 2026 season their most dog-traumatizing yet
“They’re going to be shaking the whole time we’re gone!” Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Nile Seguin and Clare Blackwood) break down the Pentagon abandoning the Joint B…
Carney clarifies “Buy Canadian” also means public assets
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney has announced that “Buy Canadian” policies now means Canadians can now support the country’s economy by purchasing local public assets like ports, airpor…
Carney announces environment to be eliminated as cost-cutting measure
EDMONTON – In addition to his announcement lowering industrial carbon pricing specifically just for Alberta, Prime Minister Mark Carney has unveiled a plan to eliminate all of Canada’…
Danielle Smith announces referendum to determine her position on Albertan Independence Referendum
“Also there will be an introductory referendum to determine what the question on my position referendum will be.” Luke and the Panel (Clare Blackwood and Ian MacIntyre) talk about Car…
Privatized airports means Canadians will pay less flying Air Canada out of Rogers Airport sponsored by Draft Kings
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Carney has announced a plan to sell off Canadian airports, thus generating revenue for his new sovereign wealth fund, and assures Canadians they will surely pay less…
Liberal tent now encompasses any political beliefs anyone has ever, or will ever, have
“If you have ever thought anything about anything, you have a place in the Liberal Party.” Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Clare Blackwood and Megan MacKay) talk about the Liberals…
Party that exists only to obtain power not sure what to do now
OTTAWA – Following two by-election wins that have allowed the Liberal Party of Canada to finally cement an electoral majority, Prime Minister Mark Carney has admitted that the party has abs…
Liberal bouncers tell MPs to wait in line to join party
OTTAWA – With Mark Carney’s Liberals finally achieving a majority, bouncers outside the Liberal party have instructed numerous MPs who are now rushing to cross the floor to “wai…
