OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney has announced a national design-and-build competition for the restoration of 24 Sussex Drive, the winner of which will receive full blame for their effor…
Tag: Mark Carney
5 reasons why bailing out rich Vancouver condo developers with taxpayer money is what the free market is all about, by Mark Carney
Good afternoon, taxpayers of Canada. It is me, Mark Carney, your Definitely Liberal Prime Minister. I hope that you are all having a wonderful, fiscally profitable day. My secretary told me this …
Mark Carney named next UK Prime Minister
LONDON – In the wake of Keir Starmer’s resignation as PM, Labour Party officials have announced a plan to select Canada’s Mark Carney as party leader and Prime Minister. “…
Everything you need to know about Trump’s Iran deal
The details of Trump’s Memorandum Of Understanding with Iran have finally been released. Here is everything you need to know. 1. The deal is a 14 point plan, one point for every time Trump …
Trump successfully diverted to inflatable decoy G7
ÉVIAN, FRANCE – The 2026 G7 summit has thus far yielded successful talks between the world’s top leaders, largely due to US President Donald Trump being tricked early on into joining …
Carney bans social media for kids too dumb to figure out VPNs
“There’s no way a 15 year old who has been online for his entire life knows about those is there?” Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre and special guest John Batt of @canada.gov.c…
Report: Carney’s plan to protect Canada from US aggression to relocate entire country to Europe
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney has reportedly settled on a last-ditch initiative to keep Canada safe from American instability: physically moving the entire nation to the continent of …
Carney to replace Steven Guilbeault’s seat with burning tailings pond
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney has absorbed the resignation from Parliament by climate activist Steven Guilbeault, immediately announcing that his seat would be replaced with a tar san…
Soon-to-be grounded Snowbirds promise to make 2026 season their most dog-traumatizing yet
“They’re going to be shaking the whole time we’re gone!” Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Nile Seguin and Clare Blackwood) break down the Pentagon abandoning the Joint B…
Carney clarifies “Buy Canadian” also means public assets
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney has announced that “Buy Canadian” policies now means Canadians can now support the country’s economy by purchasing local public assets like ports, airpor…
