Pickleball popularity slips with gay seniors “The whole name is misleading”
PORT COLBORNE, ON — Large numbers of gay seniors initially drawn to popular racquet sport pickleball are abandoning the game after realizing it has nothing to do with male genitalia. “We may be g…
Trump reminds Americans he only promised not to start foreign wars
LOS ANGELES – As National Guard troops took to the streets ready to open fire on U.S. citizens in the name of “Making America Great Again”, President Trump reminded all American…
Carney limits G7 guests to one assassination each
OTTAWA – After inviting Indian PM Narendra Modi Prime Minister Mark Carney issued strict rules for the upcoming G7 meeting in Kananaskis, Alberta, limiting assassinations to one per guest n…
Trump, Musk publicly feud over whose father loved them less
WASHINGTON D.C. – US President Donald Trump has spent the day publicly feuding with former billionaire ally Elon Musk, as the two each insisted that they were shown less affection and atten…
Oil Pipelines getting sick of Danielle Smith talking about them all the time
“We get it lady. Find someone else to talk about 24 hours a day.” Luke and the Panel (Nile Seguin, Megan MacKay and Clare Blackwood) recap the “best first ministers meeting in 1…
Nova Scotia Power encourages customers to leak own personal information during service outages
HALIFAX – After the private information of more than 280,000 Nova Scotia Power customers was stolen and published online, Nova Scotia Power and parent company Emera are reminding customers …
Premiers united in belief that the best way to stand up to Trump is doing what they’ve always wanted to do anyways
SASKATOON – As they gather with PM Mark Carney for the meeting of First Ministers, the Premiers of Canada’s provinces are steadfast in their belief that the best way to oppose Donald …
Hockey players shake hands, say there are no hard feelings about the permanent brain damage
MIAMI, FLORIDA – After an intensely violent hockey match, the Florida Panthers have formed a line to shake hands and assure their opponents, the Carolina Hurricanes, that they feel no resen…
Shadowy interests plotting to dismantle education just going to let students use ChatGPT instead
ZÜRICH – The clandestine organization of evil billionaires who have worked for decades to undermine the world’s education systems, thus making the populace easier to control, have rec…
Convoluted new UEFA Champions League structure forces PSG to play themselves in the final
MUNICH – French soccer champions Paris Saint-Germain were told by UEFA that, having accidentally eliminated all other clubs by a bookkeeping error in their complicated new tournament system…
