“You fucks aren’t wearing a wire are you?” The Beaverton interview with Doug Ford
We sat down with Ontario Premier Doug Ford to discuss the Greenbelt scandal and how he plans to fix his damaged reputation. Premier Ford thank you for agreeing to this interview. “Yeah let&…
REPORT: Rescue dog in muzzle still a good boy
TORONTO – After a long deliberation, officials have confirmed that rescue dog Bowser is still, in fact, a certified Good Boy. The ruling comes as a relief to the 90 pound Cane Corso mix, who was …
Country with massive housing shortage not sure what to do with all these empty office buildings
OTTAWA – As employees continue to express their desire to work from home, owners of downtown office buildings aren’t sure what they will do with all this unused space. Also in unrelat…
REPORT: Ignoring suffering of others linked to optimism
CALGARY, AB – A recent study out of the University of Alberta has come to the startling conclusion that ignoring the suffering of others is linked to having an optimistic view of life. When…
Justin Trudeau and 10 other Marxists you should know
Pierre Poilievre has labelled Justin Trudeau (and his father) “Marxists”, a term used to describe people that adhere to the economic and political philosophies of Karl Marx, namely th…
To combat self-checkout theft, stores experimenting with new human cashier pilot program
OAKVILLE, ON – Following a rise in self-checkout theft driven by increased prices, a consortium of Canadian retailers announced a new experimental pilot program replacing self-checkouts wit…
Clark celebrates Labour Day by resigning as Housing Minister but keeping his MPP job, benefits
QUEEN’S PARK – Amid the Greenbelt controversy that has surrounded the Ford Government, Housing Minister Steve Clark has announced plans to celebrate the Labour Day holiday by resignin…
Streamer describes relationship with girlfriend as “Soulslike”
Twitch, Ontario – Local video streamer DubLub has described his current relationship relationship as a “Soulslike.” “It’s not for everyone,” continued DubLub. “But it really is an amazing e…
5 solutions to fix housing prices that are never, ever making them less expensive
As the average price of a Canadian house hit $668,754 in July, up by more than 6% in past year, homeowners and renters across the country are feeling the squeeze. Canadians, particularly millenni…
