Latest Drake track features his Mom asking Kendrick to stop bullying her son
TORONTO – The latest diss track in the hip-hop industry’s highest profile feud features Drake’s mother, Sandi Graham, personally requesting that rap superstar Kendrick Lamar sto…
Puerto Ricans pissed Canada could become U.S. state before them
SAN JUAN, PR – In the wake of Donald Trump unveiling plans to make Canada the 51st U.S. state, Puerto Ricans who have been trying to attain proper electoral representation expressed their frustra…
Report: Exhausting, unfulfilling suburban life you hate is university student’s unattainable dream
PICKERING, ON ― A scathing new report released today has found that local 52-year-old Linda Pike’s mid-life crisis is every university student’s dream problem, and that they probably won’t notice…
Report: Juan Soto in talks with Ohtani about best way to get Canadians’ hopes up before crushing their dreams
TORONTO – As rumours and speculation fly around whether or not the Blue Jays will acquire free agent and four-time All-Star Juan Soto, Soto was recently spotted talking to Shohei Ohtani abo…
Trump encouraging NATO members to increase military spending by making the US a viable target
MAR-A-LAGO, FL – U.S. President-Elect Donald Trump has unveiled a key component of his plan to make other member nations of NATO invest more in defense; turning America into a viable intern…
Op-Ed: The “Wicked” movie shows us what audiences really want — more films about green people
By Cash Ritchie, Senior VP, Finance, at WoodHolly Studios The Wicked movie has already proven a resounding success not only for Universal, but for show business at large. As the industry continue…
Transparent plots to buy votes are cynical, effective, political scientists find
OTTAWA, ON ― A new survey of political scientists found broad consensus that financial giveaways are a both arrogant and very successful strategy to curry the favour of voters too shortsighted to…
Weird! Woman’s comfort show doesn’t have any monsters or murder
LONDON, ON – A local woman has shocked friends and family by revealing that her favourite comfort show contains neither fantastical creatures, nor grisly true crime homicides. Vanessa Parker, 34,…
Poilievre looking forward to blaming Trudeau for economic effects of Trump’s tariffs
OTTAWA – Pierre Poilievre couldn’t contain his glee today upon hearing the news that Donald Trump plans to enact a 25% tariff on Canadian goods as soon as he takes office. “Our largest trad…
Defiant Joe Rogan insists he’s not a propaganda asset, just actually this stupid
AUSTIN, TX – Following comments on Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, where multi-millionaire podcaster Joe Rogan blamed Ukrainian defence for “causing World War III”, the podc…
