Hakeem Jeffries, Chuck Schumer say now is not the time to punish convicted rapist Russell Brand
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a joint statement, U.S. House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries and current U.S. Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer made clear their position that just-convicted rapist…
Alberta’s new electoral map just gives every UCP voter their own district
EDMONTON – Alberta’s United Conservative Party has rejected a new electoral map proposed by the province’s bipartisan boundaries commission, instead opting to use a map that creates an elec…
Canadians had no idea we were this good at meddling
WASHINGTON D.C. – In the most successful midterm election since 1974 Democrats have retaken control of the House and Senate thanks, primarily, to Canadian meddling. “Sure we started a…
Giddy Chuck Schumer already preparing excuses for letting Trump still get away with everything
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Following Tuesday’s “Blue Wave” midterm elections, Senator Chuck Schumer is reportedly already hard at work on a long list of reasons why President Trump can …
Tech CEO begs people not call AI “slop” and just behave like good little pigs
SAN FRANCISCO – Powerful tech CEOs the world over are begging consumers to stop resisting the low-quality AI advancements they are making and digest all of their content without questioning…
Mitch McConnell speechless after US Midterm Elections
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Following midterm elections that saw Democrats take control of both the Senate and House of Representatives, former Republican Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell offe…
Report: Canada still isn’t taking you back
CANADA — After a Democratic blue wave swept the U.S. midterms tonight, and Democrats took back both the House and the Senate from the Republican party, Canada wishes to gently, yet firmly, let al…
Canadian spends day mentioning they’d vote Democrat if they could
Windsor, ON – Canadian citizen Heather Kelly announced today on her Threads account that in this year’s midterm elections she would absolutely vote for the Democrats if she could. “Cheering…
Detailed analysis of U.S. Midterms provided by man who forgot to vote in last Canadian election
Guelph, ON – Local man Mark Nellis, who “totally meant” to vote in the last Canadian election but forgot, is currently providing a thoughtful and considerate analysis of Tuesday…
Joe Rogan relieved his fans too concussed to remember he campaigned for Trump
AUSTIN, TX – With pollsters predicting a massive midterm repudiation of U.S. President Donald Trump, podcaster Joe Rogan has expressed relief that his millions of fans have mostly suffered …
