NS budget shortfalls force Tim Houston to eliminate ocean
HALIFAX – After months of slashing provincial revenue, Nova Scotia Premier Tim Houston has announced that he has been forced to entirely cut the Atlantic Ocean from the province. Since winn…
Carney says he supports US invading Iran, Cuba, and possibly Canada “with some regret”
“It’s a good thing that Trump is the most peaceful president in history who ends all wars, right?” This week host Clare Blackwood and the Panel (Megan MacKay, Nile Séguin, and s…
Help! The cast of Mr. D won’t stop reuniting
Halifax, NS – The stars of beloved Canadian sitcom Mr. D reunited for some adorable pictures over the weekend, but fans and producers are begging them to stop. “We’re begging Gerry to promote Fam…
Trump assures Congress that Netanyahu has a plan for Iran invasion
WASHINGTON D.C. – Faced with criticism that he has no strategy or timeline for his sudden invasion of Iran, President Trump insisted to Congress that a plan does exist and that it has been …
Ben Mulroney accidentally shares video with fake footage of him being a respected media figure
TORONTO – Ben Mulroney, temporary host of Global News’ political affairs program The West Block and self-proclaimed “Not A Journalist,” recently accidentally shared a fake footage video of …
Max Scherzer re-signs with Blues Jays for chance to win, get even with guy who cut him off on DVP
DUNEDIN, FL – In an effort to address unresolved trauma from the 2025 season, veteran pitcher ‘Mad’ Max Scherzer announced he will re-sign with the Toronto Blue Jays to give himself another shot …
Danielle Smith uses notwithstanding clause to run red light
Calgary, Alberta – Alberta Premier Danielle Smith has once again invoked the notwithstanding clause, something meant for only the most dire times to pass legislation, to get around a small …
Analysis: Ayatollah’s death fails to deliver Trump his dead father’s approval
WASHINGTON D.C. – Following the confirmed death of Iran Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei in U.S.-led airstrikes, observers question whether Iran’s allies will retaliate, and also wheth…
Carney puts rules-based international order sign back in window
OTTAWA – After publishing an official statement on behalf of the Canadian government supporting the joint US-Israel bombings in Iran this morning, Prime Minister Carney was spotted happily …
“Pierre is the Conservative Party’s Justin Trudeau” reads tearful Poilievre in CPC men’s room
“I used to say Conservatives weren’t funny, but now I’m changing my mind. That’s a savage burn.” This week Ian and the Panel (Megan MacKay, Nile Séguin, and special …
