Beijing confirms they won’t cancel Winter Olympics since they already rented extra chairs
BEIJING – Officials from Beijing and the International Olympic Committee (IOC) confirmed this week that the 2022 Winter Olympics won’t be cancelled amidst rising COVID cases, as they have a…
Wow! These 5 iconic Toronto landmarks would be even better as weed shops
TORONTO – We toured Toronto and discovered five iconic Toronto landmarks that would definitely be more loved as weed shops. Madison Avenue Pub – At 450 meters from the nearest weed st…
Inspiring! This man has already completed his resolution to draw more fanart of Sonic the Hedgehog pregnant
CALGARY – According to local sources, 34-year-old Damien Wilkes has already completed his New Year’s resolution to draw more fanart of Sonic the Hedgehog heavy with child. “Last year I resolved …
Beijing’s claims 1st Omicron case ‘arrived through mail’ refuted by anyone who has ever used Canada Post
TORONTO – Claims that the first case of the Omicron variant reported in Beijing ‘arrived on a parcel sent from Canada’ are being met with heavy skepticism by the scientific community as wel…
Inspiring! This cat sensed its owner was about to have a seizure so it clawed his face and pissed on the carpet
TORONTO, ON ― Another pet has gone from cuddly companion to a life-saving hero after Peter Barkley’s cat Sprinkles sprung into action before he had a seizure. “It’s true that Sprinkles does often…
“My fucking back!” reports nation
OTTAWA – Reports from homes across the nation have indicated that they’ve hurt their back shovelling snow once again. “God dammit, my fucking back,” said Keith, David, Ste…
5 living room workouts that look like you’re laying on a yoga mat eating chips but you’re not
Hey there, hot stuff! With gyms being closed, it’s important to stay active at home! Turn that shambles-of-a-living-room (aka office/school/room where you regularly cry), into a fab fitness space…
Local dad shovelling snow for hours clearly avoiding family
NORTH BATTLEFORD, SK – Local dad Todd Wolverton has been outside shovelling snow for an unnaturally long time, and experts suggest it may be that he is avoiding his family. “I think he’s be…
Quiz: Do you have Omicron? The answer is yes
Do you feel like you have Omicron, even though you have three vaccinations, no symptoms, and haven’t stepped outside your foyer barricade since 2020? Don’t be ridiculous, you definitely have it. …
Breaking: Ontario teachers intentionally strand themselves in snowbanks for chance to actually speak with Doug Ford
ETOBICOKE — After reports surfaced that Doug Ford was spending Toronto’s first major blizzard of the year driving around helping drivers stranded by snow in his district, school teachers fr…
