The Beaverton

Canadians sweep Junos

CANADA – In a stunning show of national dominance, all the Junos awarded at the 50th annual Juno awards were awarded to Canadians. “I think this really shows how far Canadian music has come…

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RCMP arrest the Lorax

LAKE COWICHAN, B.C. – The RCMP, out in force again today arresting protesters trying to protect old growth trees on Vancouver Island, have detained one of the world’s most recognizable envi…

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Police on horse ready to stop train robbery

TORONTO – Toronto Police have reported that their horseback division is essential for stopping any and all train robberies. “When I’m on my noble steed, Paul Gross’ Passchendaele – Pa…

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