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SALT LAKE CITY – North America’s biggest Christian rock music festival, Churchapalooza, is excited to announce their newest headliner and this year’s most talked about group – t…
Clock tuah! Meet the woman who wears two wristwatches at once
WINNIPEG – Local woman Renee Schloss is garnering major attention for her unique affectation – wearing two functioning wristwatches at once. “I wear one on the left, and one on the ri…
Gen Xer attempts to untangle AirPods
NANAIMO, BC — Local Gen X-er Jerry Greene flailed like an inflatable car dealership mascot today as he attempted to untangle and insert his AirPods before answering his ringing iPhone. “‘Call mis…
Number of coffee table books exceeds number of coffee tables
VICTORIA, BC – A local woman experienced a decorative emergency this week when her collection of coffee table books exceeded her number of coffee tables. Wendy Miller, 39, realized the emergency …
Dunderheaded ant taking inefficient route to crumb
CALGARY – Reports from the Calloway household indicate that a local ant is taking a pointlessly circuitous route to a tasty chocolate chip cookie crumb. “He rounded the knife block twice, and the…
Seasonal temperature shifts create pleasing sounds from house built entirely out of accordions
CHARLOTTETOWN — While many Prince Edward Islanders mark the arrival of Fall by noticing the changing colours of the leaves, Daryl McClintock listens for the soothing sonic effects of temperature …
Fiddler can’t afford roof
ST. JOHN’S, NL – The Canadian housing crisis reached new heights this week with a renowned fiddler unable to afford a roof. Viola Green, 35, a prolific fiddle player who has toured with maj…
Handy changes for the new year: Boxing and Fisting to trade names
SAN JUAN, PR – The World Boxing Organization (WBO) and the International Fisting Association (IFA) have agreed to an exchange of names for their respective activities as of Jan 1, 2025. Sta…
Hawk poo-ah! 5 dangerous bones to find in your pet bird’s regurgitated pellets
Bird owners, beware! Ornithologists have identified 5 new bones that, if found in a bird of prey’s regurgitated pellets, could call for an urgent trip to the Bird E.R. Watch out for your bird cho…