Miami, [CENSORED] – Julie K. Brown of the Miami Herald has been awarded a Pulitzer Prize for her impactful work on the Jeffrey Epstein investigation and people like [EXPUNGED] who allowed […
BREAKING: This nepo baby sure hates it when you call them a nepo baby
Los Angeles, CA – Recent interviews with famous people who have benefitted from their familiar relations have gone sour as interviewers correctly described them as nepo babies. “I am not a …
Pope Leo says “L + ratio” to Trump on X is what Jesus would have done
Vatican City – During his online arguments with US president Trump, Pope Leo XIV was able to ratio the president on X, getting more likes than the President’s original post and handing Trum…
Grieving woman trauma dumps to therapist who just wanted to catch up
BetterHelp, ON – Dr. Shelley Roberts was shocked when her therapy client started talking about intimate details of her life when all she wanted was a light catch up. “I just didn’t think i…
Music festival fan regales friends about $700 show that sounds like worst experience possible
Osheaga, Quebec – Avid music festival goer Larry Rockton is in the middle of an epic story about an expensive music festival he went to recently that sounds like the worst experience a pers…
Danielle Smith uses notwithstanding clause to run red light
Calgary, Alberta – Alberta Premier Danielle Smith has once again invoked the notwithstanding clause, something meant for only the most dire times to pass legislation, to get around a small …
Metrolinx hires elderly woman after watching her take 30 minutes to cross the street
Toronto, ON – Metrolinx has responded to criticism of its project speed by adding Nancy Callahan to their team after her inspiring 30 minute walk across an intersection. “Just look at her g…
Heated Rivalry season two to follow hockey players who secretly don’t cheat on their wives
OTTAWA – After a universally beloved first season of ground-breaking television, Heated Rivalry season two has been green-lit with a story following two new hockey players hiding their in-i…
Sydney Sweeney getting very annoyed by endless stories about this Sydney Sweeney person
Los Angeles, CA – Actress Sydney Sweeney has reported that she is very tired of hearing stories about whoever this Sydney Sweeney person is. “I’ll be honest, I never watched Euphoria,” stat…
Jeff Bezos puts hit out on “socialist” Santa Claus
North Pole, CA – After years of competition between the two Christmas lovers, Jeff Bezos has finally decided to end Santa Claus’ hold on Christmas by putting a hit out on Saint Nick after h…
