OTTAWA – Trendspotters have identified the hottest destination for Canadians this summer, and it is putting as much distance as possible between you and Pierre Poilievre. From Acadie-Anapol…
Airport security lineups in US vastly reduced after ICE agents kidnap most travellers
SAN FRANCISCO – In a happy turn of events, airline passengers boarding flights across the United States reported almost no lineups for airport security – especially once ICE agents ha…
Carney eyes Bloc MP to complete his collection
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney was spotted in the halls of Parliament checking out passing Bloc Quebecois MP Patrick Bonin as the missing piece to complete his collection of MPs from m…
Americans demand to know who they have to bomb to lower gas prices
HOUSTON, TX – American consumers shocked by sharply rising gas prices demonstrated their keen understanding of global geopolitics by demanding that the Department of War bomb some foreign c…
Marc Maron pioneers not having a podcast
LOS ANGELES – After sixteen years, comedian, actor, and aggravated cat owner Marc Maron has taken a bold step into the unknown by turning off his microphone and not hosting a podcast. “Look…
Trump reminds Americans he only promised not to start foreign wars
LOS ANGELES – As National Guard troops took to the streets ready to open fire on U.S. citizens in the name of “Making America Great Again”, President Trump reminded all American…
Quebec passes bill requiring immigrants to not be different
QUEBEC CITY – Following a recent bill requiring immigrants to adopt shared values, Quebec has also advanced new legislation requiring immigrants to not be any different than people already …
Canada counters American annexation with reminder it already belongs to elderly King
OTTAWA – After repeated threats of annexation from Donald Trump, Canada has made the bold move of reminding the world it already bends the knee to a weird, elderly King. “Canada is a proud,…
Trump puts 100% tariff on movies that force him to read
HOLLYWOOD, CA – After accidentally watching the South Korean film Parasite on Air Force One, Donald Trump has signed an executive order placing a 100% tariff on any movie that forces him to…
Jewish students at Columbia deported for being anti-Semitic
NEW YORK – Jewish students who chained themselves to the gates of Columbia University have been arrested by ICE and deported for being anti-Semitic terrorists. As the protesting students we…
