VICTORIA, BC – After capitalizing on the disarray of the opposition Conservative party and calling a snap election, David Eby finds himself trailing in the polls to a leader to be determine…
Trump threatens to inflict as much economic damage on Iran as he has on America
WASHINGTON, D.C. – After six months of military humiliation in his war with Iran Donald Trump has declared a new plan to damage the Iranian economy as viciously as he has the American econo…
Zuckerberg did not hear boat’s distress call because he had conversation muted
ALASKA – Despite his super yacht being the nearest vessel to a small boat in trouble, Mark Zuckerberg revealed the simple reason he did not respond to the distress call was that he had mute…
Tech CEOs warn Chinese AI could destroy the world faster than American AI can
SILICON VALLEY – American Tech CEOs issued a chilling warning that Chinese AI models have the potential to destroy the world more quickly and more cheaply than their American counterparts. …
Carney to replace Steven Guilbeault’s seat with burning tailings pond
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney has absorbed the resignation from Parliament by climate activist Steven Guilbeault, immediately announcing that his seat would be replaced with a tar san…
#1 Canadian summer destination is getting away from Poilievre
OTTAWA – Trendspotters have identified the hottest destination for Canadians this summer, and it is putting as much distance as possible between you and Pierre Poilievre. From Acadie-Anapol…
Airport security lineups in US vastly reduced after ICE agents kidnap most travellers
SAN FRANCISCO – In a happy turn of events, airline passengers boarding flights across the United States reported almost no lineups for airport security – especially once ICE agents ha…
Carney eyes Bloc MP to complete his collection
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney was spotted in the halls of Parliament checking out passing Bloc Quebecois MP Patrick Bonin as the missing piece to complete his collection of MPs from m…
Americans demand to know who they have to bomb to lower gas prices
HOUSTON, TX – American consumers shocked by sharply rising gas prices demonstrated their keen understanding of global geopolitics by demanding that the Department of War bomb some foreign c…
Marc Maron pioneers not having a podcast
LOS ANGELES – After sixteen years, comedian, actor, and aggravated cat owner Marc Maron has taken a bold step into the unknown by turning off his microphone and not hosting a podcast. “Look…
