The passage of time spares none, and the men and women responsible for your early education are no exception. See if we can guess how old you are simply by calculating how many of your elementary scho...
Toronto Police demand to know why LGBTQ community not investigating, solving more homicides
TORONTO — Following the arrest of alleged serial killer Bruce MacArthur, Police Service Chief Mark Saunders have declared Toronto’s entire LGBTQ community “on thin ice” for failing to arrest him...
Update: Christine Elliott 7 more PC leadership runs away from winning a free 6 inch sub
TORONTO – With another stamp on her Ontario PC Point Card, Christine Elliott has seven more attempts at trying to win the Ontario Progressive Conservative leadership before she earns herself a f...
Bar described as ‘hidden gem’ receives millionth Yelp review
MONTRÉAL – The restaurant Le Sanctuaire on boul St. Laurent, described on its web page as Montréal’s hidden gem, has received its millionth review on Yelp, sources report. “We’re a small, family-run j...
The Shape of Water wins Oscar for best obscuring of a Canadian filming location
LOS ANGELES – Guillermo del Toro’s Toronto shot monster love epic The Shape of Water has won the academy award for the production that best hid the fact that it was shot in Toronto. “We are hono...
Man baffled favourite homophobic movie from high school doesn’t hold up
SHERWOOD PARK, AB – After repeatedly proclaiming it to be “the best movie of all time”, local ATB Financial branch manager, Eric Parsons, 36, was shocked Saturday to discover his favourite child...
Trump dismisses closed door president-for-life comments as ‘just locker room fascism’
WASHINGTON D.C. — After being secretly recorded praising China’s President Xi Jinping for ending term limits, President Trump dismissed his autocratic comments as just “regular locker room...
Trudeau returns from UK visit with British accent
OTTAWA – Justin Trudeau has returned from a trip to England only to shock Parliamentary observers with his new, fully-formed British accent. “My dear, whatever do you mean?” said Trudeau in resp...
Report: Most popular kink among millennials is role-playing as a couple that owns a house
BURNABY, BC – A published study out of Simon Fraser university on generational sexuality has found that the most popular sexual kink among millennials is roleplaying as a couple that owns a hous...
Update: Parent who made half-assed attempt to discipline child has gone back to looking at their phone
PICKERING, ON – In an update to an earlier situation, local parent Sandra MacLean has returned to experimenting with filters on her phone after making a half-hearted attempt at disciplining her ...
