OTTAWA – In the wake of findings that have stunned the psychiatric community, researchers are now reporting that over one in 20 people are sociopaths, and that every single one of them play…
Report
Report: It never right temperature outside
LONDON, ON – In an explosively damning report published by the University of Western Ontario, researchers found that the temperature outside “never right.” Though the report was expected to…
Dry January to be wettest on record
Vancouver, BC — Following a wave of high-pressure this week, meteorologists predict Dry January will be the wettest on record. Up until Tuesday, leading meteorologists predicted that January woul…
Report: Most millennials wait until after the third date to be emotionally vulnerable
WINDSOR – A recent report has found that, on average, single Millennials will wait until at least the third date before deciding to be emotionally vulnerable with their partner. Take, for e…
Report: Millennials average net worth only 8000 likes
CALGARY, AB – Surveying the livelihood and stability of adults born between 1982 and 2004, a report released today has concluded that the net worth of the average millennial is only 8000 li…
REPORT: Glen honestly believes large pizza will last him two meals
EDMONTON — According to a new report, Glen sincerely believes the large pizza he ordered will be enough for both tonight’s dinner and tomorrow’s lunch. Friends and family are skeptical. “It…
Person who took empty seat next to you on plane at last minute definitely a sociopath
TORONTO – According to damning and indisputable evidence, the son of a bitch who waited until just before departure to sit in the empty seat next to you on the plane is almost certainly an …
Nanalan’: Canadian television treasure or collective children’s fever dream
Childhood, a time of innocence and also being a child, when the candy doesn’t hurt your teeth and movies are always just under 90 minutes. If you grew up in the late 1990s, you would remember how…
REPORT: Everyone remembers that awkward thing you did last year and they talk about it constantly
FORT MCMURRAY, AB – Confirming longtime suspicions, evidenced reports are coming in which confirm that, yes, everyone remembers that awkward thing you did last year and they talk about it c…
The Giving Tree found guilty of embezzlement in CRA audit
HUNTSVILLE, ON – The Giving Tree has come into trouble as the Canada Revenue Agency released information containing proof that she was guilty of embezzling $1.2 million dollars in a recent …