In the wake of ongoing tariffs imposed by the Trump Administration, Canadians are looking for local alternatives to American products. For folks hoping to purchase the favour of a government official,...
With Trump back in office, Greeks celebrate no longer being civilization that has fallen the furthest
ATHENS, GREECE ― Following Trump’s inauguration and the steep decline in American character it represents, Greece is looking on with a mixture of horror and guilty relief, new polling suggests. “For ...
Head of Elections Canada says all social media sites now on the honour system to not interfere with our elections, okay guys?
OTTAWA – In light of concerns that social media sites would be used to spread deliberate disinformation in order to sway the outcome of Canada’s upcoming federal election, Chief Electoral Office...
Hudson’s Bay warns customers they have only weeks to find their way out of stores
TORONTO – As Hudson’s Bay stores across Canada liquidate their inventory to pay off debt, customers currently lost inside these labyrinthian stores are being warned they must find their way out before...
Boeing signs fighter contract, will rework planes to cause death and destruction “on purpose”
Crystal City, Virginia – Seeing an opportunity to capitalize on his company’s reputation as a bringer of chaos and death, Boeing CEO Kelly Ortberg has announced the signing of an agreement...
Trump Trade War prompts Carney to mobilize reserve members of Broken Social Scene
OTTAWA – With US President Trump ramping up his economic attacks on Canada and Europe, Prime Minister Mark Carney has enacted a top secret plan to mobilize Canada’s most highly-specialized...
Conservative man discovers secret trick to getting elected PM: running as Liberal
(Political) Scientists hate him for discovering a new way to be a Conservative PM in Canada! And he can show you how to do it too! It’s the second episode of the relaunched Beaverton Weekly Repo...
Polkaroo outed as leader of men’s rights group
HAMILTON – RCMP officials have confirmed that the leader of Men Seeing Men (MSM), a growing men’s rights movement linked to online threats and violence across the country, is the Polka Dot Door’...
Poilievre insists not being aware of India helping his campaign just practice for not being aware of America helping his campaign
OTTAWA – Amid revelations that India aided the leadership campaign of Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre, the opposition leader insists that having absolutely no idea about this will be great ...
Trump team accidentally texts Canadian invasion plans to Ian Hanomansing
TORONTO – Following reports of Trump Cabinet members including journalists on private Signal threads, Trump officials have reportedly texted similar plans for an invasion of Canada to anchor of ...
