NATIONWIDE – A recent study of Canadian living standards has found that the modern-day equivalent of being in the lower end of the upper social classes is spending money on a monthly YouTub…
Report: Carney’s plan to protect Canada from US aggression to relocate entire country to Europe
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney has reportedly settled on a last-ditch initiative to keep Canada safe from American instability: physically moving the entire nation to the continent of …
REPORT: Poilievre’s only hope is that floor-crossing MPs will destroy Liberal Party from within
OTTAWA – Recent data from Parliament Hill suggests that Conservative Leader Pierre Poilievre’s only chance of becoming Prime Minister rests on the possibility that one of his MPs who …
Trump clarifies that civilization he intends to end is America
WASHINGTON, DC – Following criticism that he has reneged on his promise to end “a whole civilization,” as detailed in one of his many irate posts about the Iran war, US President Donald Tru…
Instagram, YouTube ordered to pay $300 million to anyone who’s not too distracted by their phones to claim it
MENLO PARK, CA – Following a jury decision that found sites like Instagram, Facebook and YouTube to be designed to be purposely addictive to children, the social media giants have been orde…
US loses World Baseball Classic bet, has to give Venezula their oil back
WASHINGTON, DC – Following their upset victory in the World Baseball Classic finals against the United States, the Venezuelan interim government is immediately collecting their winnings fro…
Trump threatens more attacks on Nigeria unless their prince returns his money
WASHINGTON, DC – President Donald Trump recently took to his Truth Social media platform to warn Nigeria that it will be targeted with more airstrikes, unless “Prince Adewale Oluewesa…
Chaperone at Satanist school dance reminds students to leave space for Lucifer
VANCOUVER – Students attending the Unholiday Dance at Our Lady of Infernal Evil’s Satanist School have just been reminded by a volunteer chaperone to “Leave space for Lucifer” while slow da…
New Canadian trade deal with India only allows for 1 assassination per year
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney and Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi have reportedly outlined a first draft of the Comprehensive Economic Partnership Agreement, which includes a sub-…
Trump removes tariffs on foreign films that are just as dumb as American ones
WASHINGTON, D.C. – United States President Donald Trump announced that his administration would not implement the intended 100% tariffs on films made outside the US, so long as they are jus…
