TORONTO – Following the removal of much of the city’s bike lanes, local motorist Jason Welch is facing extreme uncertainty about where he should park his car now. “It’s so annoying to try a…
Doug Ford bets 10 grand he can stop surge in gambling addiction
QUEEN’S PARK – To deal with the sharp increase in gambling addiction sweeping the province, Ontario Premier Doug Ford has publicly stated he is so confident he can stop the epidemic t…
Doug Ford vows to protect Ontario’s vulnerable crony industry
QUEEN’S PARK – Ontario Premier Doug Ford has promised that despite the ongoing economic uncertainty in the province, which he constantly exacerbates by responding to US President Dona…
Trump says Canada having more friends is bullying
WASHINGTON, D.C. – United States President Donald Trump has blasted Canada’s recent proposed alliance up to the European Union, insisting the new partnership is tantamount to picking on him…
EU asks Canada to join in hopes they take some stuff Britain left at their office
BRUSSELS – A recent statement by the European Union has clarified that the bloc’s main interest in Canada becoming an Associate Member is to get them to take away some of the junk the Unite…
Canada confirms defence strategy against invasion mainly waiting for Americans to die from preventable illnesses
OTTAWA – Last weekend, Canada’s Ministry of National Defence confirmed their main strategy to fend off a potential invasion from the United States is to wait for American forces to be…
Carney imposes 50% tariffs on U.S. for fake Canadian girlfriends
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney’s latest move in the ongoing trade war against the U.S. has been described as possibly his most aggressive, as he announced last week that his government…
Trump National Park to feature hundreds of anti-woke plants and animals
WASHINGTON, D.C. – U.S. President Donald Trump is receiving praise from his supporters after announcing last week that the upcoming Trump National Park will be home to over one hundred diff…
Padlock left at romantic site the only thing keeping local couple together
MONTREAL, QC – Longtime couple David LeGault and Katie Hu have confirmed that they would have ended their relationship years ago if not for the cheap padlock symbolizing their love they lef…
Upper Middle Class redefined as being able to watch YouTube without ads
NATIONWIDE – A recent study of Canadian living standards has found that the modern-day equivalent of being in the lower end of the upper social classes is spending money on a monthly YouTub…
