OTTAWA – Employees of Whiteston Manufacturing who were told they were receiving a special Labour Day surprise at the factory today were delighted when that surprise turned out to be Prime Minist...
Joe Rogan of the Left? This credulous dipshit is vegan
Hold onto your podcasting mic! During the 2024 US Presidential election, “bro podcast” hosts like Theo Von, Andrew Schulz, and of course Joe Rogan offered fawning softball interviews to Do...
A&W’s new Complicated Family Menu features Step-Mom Burger, Secret Cousin Burger
NORTH VANCOUVER — A&W Canada announced their new Complicated Family Menu today, featuring old favourites like the Mama Burger and Papa Burger, plus an assortment of more modern offerings, includi...
Lesbian who doesn’t like sports may as well just die
TORONTO – A local lesbian who doesn’t care about sports has determined that that is why she cannot find love and therefore she may as well just die. Jesse Cameron, 33, came to the dire conclusion afte...
“They didn’t have autism in my day,” claims man with thorough knowledge of the history of the Caledonian Railway
Fredericton, New Brunswick – Despite decades of research, a Fredericton man says that autism didn’t exist in his day and that he would like to show us a replica map he created of the 1920 Caledo...
“AI is just a tool” says tech mogul who is just a tool
PALO ALTO, CA – Tech industry billionaire Jared Banks recently dismissed fears over artificial intelligence disrupting the labor market by insisting that AI is “just a tool”, while a...
Real life Jason Voorhees? This kid’s mom is weird
LAKE LOUISE – According to local sources, young campers are getting some seriously bad vibes from fellow camper Lucas Cohen thanks to his mollycoddling mom insisting that he stay safe. “Lucas’s mom is...
Danielle Smith says Canada has some of the lowest living standards in the world thanks to her hard work
Calgary, Alberta – Alberta Premier Danielle Smith has made headlines after stating that Canada has some of the lowest living standards in the world thanks mostly to her time in office. “I expect...
Leading physicists claim Mark Carney’s elbows are in a quantum superposition of up and down simultaneously
Waterloo, ON – The Perimeter Institute for Theoretical Physics put out a statement saying that after months of careful study, they can now claim that Prime Minister Mark Carney’s elbows are neit...
Patriotic Canadians resigned to consuming Pizza Pizza
BARRIE – In the face of the Trump administration’s trade war, everyday Canadians have been taking drastic measures to support the Canadian economy – such as purchasing and pretending to genuinely enjo...
