Bunny Hop Preschool – In shocking news to toddlers everywhere, it has been discovered that Mommy has her own mommy, and you’ll never guess who it is. Grandma! It may seem hard to believe, because Mom...
CIBC unveils new “Pauper’s Grave” retirement plan
TORONTO – In an acknowledgement of the financial struggles many Canadians are facing, CIBC has announced a new investment plan to help customers scrape through lives of quiet desperation until they’re...
Queen’s University offers Musk 8 dollars a month to stop telling people he went there
KINGSTON, ON – Queen’s University has reached out to Elon Musk offering eight dollars a month to stop telling people he attended the higher learning institution. While the university previ...
Leafs fan who was sure team would be swept after Game 1 now equally as confident they’re going to win the Cup
TORONTO – Bryce Feegan, a “die-hard” Leafs fan has proclaimed that the team is sure to win the Cup after their victory in Game 2 with the same amount of certainty as he declared them...
Elon Musk building an AI that can explain to him why no one likes him
SAN FRANCISCO – Elon Musk announced this week that he’s developing an AI called TruthGPT in the hopes that the finished product will be able to answer what he believes to be the most pressing an...
I don’t care how many scandals my free vacations cause, I can’t spend any more time on Tripadvisor
By Justin Trudeau So apparently some of you are mad because me and the fam jam took another free vacation at one of my dad’s buddies’ places. You’re wondering how in the hell I let t...
Revolutionary architect designs public washroom with door that pushes open from the inside
GOTHENBURG, SWEDEN ― Innovative young architect Matteus Persson recently unveiled the first public washroom door that can be pushed from the inside rather than pulled. Now open in a local restaurant, ...
Hospitals dropping mask mandates tell patients to stay home if they feel unwell
HAMILTON – The McMaster University Children’s Hospital, along with several other facilities in Southwestern Ontario, announced today that they’re lifting their mask mandates, noting because of t...
How to enjoy “unseasonably warm” days without dreading inevitable doom
Ottawa, ON — As spring unfolds with unprecedented warmth, Canadians might wonder how they can enjoy nice weather, while also understanding it’s a sign that our climate is hurling toward uninhabitable ...
Leafs fans attending playoff opener given special blue and white coloured stress ball
TORONTO – Fans may be shelling out thousands for seats to the Leafs playoff opener tonight but they won’t be heading home empty handed now that the club has announced that every attendee w...
