OTTAWA – After learning the new federal budget will increase the amount of tax paid by people who make more than $250,000 in capital gains in a year, Canada’s richest citizens are demanding…
Collapsing Vice Media assures devastated journalists that upper level management will be fine
BROOKLYN, N.Y. – Vice Media began informing journalists today that they’ve been laid off as the struggling company pivots away from producing news in favour of a business model in which inv…
Trudeau: Protests at hospitals are reprehensible, bombings to be judged on a case by case basis
TORONTO – Following a pro-Palestinian protest that partially took place outside Mount Sinai Hospital in Toronto on Monday night, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau posted on Twitter/X to voice h…
“If only someone had the power to make corporations behave better,” laments prime minister
TORONTO – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is deeply concerned about Bell Media firing 4800 workers, including hundreds of journalists, in their latest round of layoffs and wishes someone woul…
Editorial: Women must date unpleasant men, and we’re not just saying that because we’re unpleasant men
By The Beaverton Editorial Board A spectre is haunting dating – the spectre of women not dating men like us. Dating and marriage used to be simple. A man chose a woman, her father approved,…
Poilievre stops making false claims about terrorism after concerned family member locks Fox News channel
OTTAWA – Following an embarrassing incident in the House of Commons in which a confused Pierre Poilievre began ranting about a terrorist attack in relation to a deadly vehicular accident in…
Genocide enthusiast jazzed to see so many people embrace his hobby
CALGARY – Local accountant and mass murder aficionado Larry Jones is tickled pink to witness the recent surge in media and political support for his favourite crime against humanity. “Norma…
Scott Moe: If Saskatchewan children wanted rights, they should’ve voted for someone else
REGINA – As part of his larger effort to teach all children (but especially trans children) that his government does not consider them human, Saskatchewan Premier Scott Moe has promised to …
Greenbelt developers invite Ford to 4am “No Hard Feelings!” party at the docks
QUEEN’S PARK – Following the surprise announcement that he will return all recently released lands back to the Greenbelt, Premier Doug Ford announced that the developers who purchased…
Conservative education ministers tackle urgent problem of children feeling too safe at school
REGINA – Several conservative provincial governments have enacted or are planning to enact policies that require parental consent for children to change their names and pronouns in school a…