New Westminster, BC – Local data analyst Mack Watson, known around work as the office funny guy, is hiding a secret behind his water cooler witticisms – his entire sense of humour comes fr…
Major misfire: People Magazine names JFK the sexiest man dead
Hollywood, CA — In a move that is equal parts morally, factually, and grammatically incorrect, People Magazine has named former president John F. Kennedy the “Sexiest Man Dead” of 2023. “After 3…
Inspiring: This man isn’t locked into a long, expensive contract with Rogers
TORONTO – While people all across the country find themselves stuck in costly, multi-year contracts with Rogers Communications, Shohei Ohtani, a professional baseball player from Ōshū, Iwate, Jap…
New Wrapped feature shows users the top five places Spotify sells your data
STOCKHOLM – Music fans just can’t get enough of this year’s Spotify Wrapped, which shows their top five songs, top five artists, and – new this year – the top five places Spotify is selling their…
Email from grandpa just a list of 29 baseball players
Huntsville, ON – A local grandson is struggling to respond to an email from his grandfather, which consists of nothing but the names of 29 current and former Major League Baseball players. José …
Opinion: Why do we need a cure for diabetes when I don’t have it?
Brandon, Manitoba – Millions of Canadians live with diabetes, and the Government of Canada has spent billions on diabetes research and treatment. But here’s what I don’t understand: Why do we nee…
Has feminism gone too far? A woman was mean to me
THE INTERNET – No one supports women’s rights more than I do, but even the best ideas can be taken too far, and my lived experience from two hours ago is the definitive proof: A woman was mean to…
Five celebrities you’d never guess are gay because they already came out
Hollywood, CA – Despite all the progress we’ve made toward creating a more inclusive society for people in the LGBTQ+ community, it’s still super fun to speculate about a stranger’s sexuality. It…
Running every day is the secret to long life, claim people being chased by lions
Abbotsford, BC – What’s the secret to a long and healthy life? According to those currently being hunted by hungry lions, the trick is running as fast as you possibly can. “Just don’t stop runnin…
Toddler news: Mom has her own mom, and her name is Grandma
Bunny Hop Preschool – In shocking news to toddlers everywhere, it has been discovered that Mommy has her own mommy, and you’ll never guess who it is. Grandma! It may seem hard to believe, becaus…