TORONTO – Chris Landon, who bought a Kia Niro EV in early 2021 is trying real hard not to be a smug piece of shit when his friends and colleagues talk about how terrible gas prices are. …
Tag: Featured Post
US Supreme Court celebrates Mandatory Mother’s Day
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The US Supreme Court will mark Mandatory Mother’s Day in light of their recent draft decision to overturn Roe v. Wade. Six members of the court thanked moms everywhere fr…
Wanna see some photos of a kid you don’t know, ya freakin’ weirdos?
Looking for photos of Princess Charlotte, a child you’ve never met, and never will meet? You’ve come to the right place. Here’s a great photo of this child, whose only claim to fame is that…
Modern Baryshnikov artfully dodges the steam unleashed by microwave dinner
HALIFAX – Sources report that Daniel Strickland has amazed onlookers by easily avoiding the steam that poured out of his microwave dinner as he peeled back its plastic seal. “I thought he was g…
Ottawa police chief reminds officers not to join protests this time
OTTAWA – Ottawa interim police chief Steve Bell has reminded members of his force that they are not allowed to participate in any planned far-right protests this weekend despite what happen…
Website you use to drunkenly order pizza requires stronger password than website you use to control all your money
Moncton, NB – Local man Dave Hollings was confused and a little concerned to discover that the password he uses to access a website where literally every dollar he has can be transferred aw…
Little free library just dumping ground for self-help books that failed to save marriages
CALGARY – A local woman perusing her community’s little free library is disappointed that she can only find weathered self-help books that couldn’t get the job done. “I was hoping to discover a c…
Deadbeat sun thinks it can just come back after all this time
VANCOUVER — Across the city Spring has begun unfolding in all the predictable ways; flowers blooming, jackets shrinking, and The Sun, that deadbeat asshole, sneaking back into our lives expecting…
BC gov’t vows old-growth forests will be protected, varnished
VICTORIA – In honour of Earth Day, the BC Government has reaffirmed its commitment to protect the province’s remaining ancient, old-growth forests using a number of varnishes, stains, or se…
Efficient new edition of TurboTax just asks how much fraud you’re comfortable with
OTTAWA – Sources have learned that this year’s standard edition of TurboTax skips right to the point by asking “So, how much you wanna try pulling over on the feds?” when the program is launched.…
