AUSTIN, TX – With pollsters predicting a massive midterm repudiation of U.S. President Donald Trump, podcaster Joe Rogan has expressed relief that his millions of fans have mostly suffered too many self-inflicted head injured to remember Rogan’s enthusiastic endorsement of Trump in 2024.
Rogan, who hosted Trump and numerous other surrogates for extensive softball interviews which many credit with helping him win the 2024 election, notes that anti-Trump sentiment could easily be pinned on media elites like himself, were it not for the widespread concussions, TBIs, and general overconsumption of psychedelics common among his male listeners.
“I mean, I’m literally on tape talking for years about how Trump would expose the Epstein Files and fight inflation, but fortunately my fans have suffered too many blows to their skulls to hold down meaningful employment, let alone navigate a back catalogue,” explained Rogan during hour five of his latest episode of The Joe Rogan Experience, confident in the knowledge that his listeners would retain none of it.
“It’d be really bad if they remembered how often I show up in person at Trump’s White House, but they seem to only be cognitively capable of remembering UFO conspiracies and times I’ve said women aren’t funny,” Rogan added, before pausing to do an ad read for testicular fish oil supplements.
Reached for comment, Joe Rogan superfans echoed their idol’s confidence that they would not hold him accountable for any of his prior political endorsements, nor even recall them.
“Joe (Rogan) has always been a free-thinking liberal, or at least that’s what he said on yesterday’s podcast, which I listened to while head butting kettlebells at my local dojo,” explained Brock Dorfman of Kansas City.
“It’s just a made up a woke conspiracy that Rogan convinced me to vote for Trump, because I’m pretty sure the record will show that I was flying through outer space on the back of a talking purple tiger all through the Fall of 2024,” recalled Jake St. Pierre, of Crawdad, Alabama.
“Trump bad! Joe good!” shouted Biff Grebowski, from the MMA Brain Injury ward of Syracuse Presbyterian Hospital.
At press time Rogan was cutting his his day’s recording to fly to Washington D.C. to attend another presidential bill signing ceremony for an unregulated psychedelic being rushed through clinical trials.
