“In the Quebec riding of Terrebonne, Liberal MP Tatiana Auguste was declared the winner by just one vote. How calmly do you think Quebec is taking this?” Dive into this week’s n…
Tag: election
Alberta shocks nation with same election results they’ve turned out since 1958
CALGARY – In a truly unexpected turn of events, Alberta has stunned voters across Canada by voting exactly the same way they have voted in every federal election for seven consecutive decad…
Poilievre vows to stay on as party leader for reasons of being otherwise unemployable
CARLETON, ON – Despite losing his own riding by several thousand votes, Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre has vowed to stay on as party leader due to having absolutely no employment trac…
Struggling young voters choose between guy who will ignore cost of living and guy who will make every problem worse
OTTAWA – As the nation heads to the polls Gen Z and Millennial Canadians report having difficulty choosing between Mark Carney, who has promised to allow cost of living to continue to rise …
Mark Carney questions why struggling young Canadians not setting up offshore tax havens
OTTAWA – At a recent campaign stop, Prime Minister Mark Carney admitted to being genuinely puzzled why more cash-strapped young Canadians aren’t using elite asset management firms to …
Federal election postponed until all Canadian teams eliminated from playoffs
OTTAWA – After rescheduling tonight’s French language leaders debate to accommodate a Montreal Canadiens playoff game, Elections Canada has announced that the entire federal election …
Conservatives unveil new holding area for journalists attending Poilievre’s rallies
“Anyone who doesn’t talk about how big the crowds are in an erotic way goes in the Iron Maiden!” The Beaverton Weekly Report is back to cover all the top stories, from the tarif…
Poilievre airs new race car ad after being informed he isn’t polling high enough with men going through midlife crises
RANDOM RACE TRACK SOMEWHERE IN CANADA – Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre has launched a new campaign ad featuring him driving a shiny blue Chevrolet Corvette around a race track, after …
Harper returns in attempt to make Poilievre look charismatic
EDMONTON – Former Prime Minister Stephen Harper appeared at a Pierre Poilievre campaign rally this week, in an attempt to make the current Conservative leader appear human and likeable by c…
