TORONTO – After un-cancelling the $15 minimum wage increase, Premier Doug Ford is promising Ontarians that, if re-elected, he will spend the entirety of his second term fighting tooth and n…
Tag: election
Liberals unveil $650 million “Spot the Difference” puzzle
OTTAWA — As the final results were tallied Monday night, the “new” Liberal minority government was proud to announce the culmination of thousands of hours of manpower and weeks-long campaigning: …
Final polls show 0% of Canadians sure why we needed an election
OTTAWA – As the Liberal and Conservative parties poll in a dead heat to form Canada’s next government, an aggregate of polls show that absolutely not one single voter can explain why this e…
Breaking: Serious action on climate change projected to lose election
CANADA ― As the votes are tabulated in the 2021 election, analysts project that ‘reducing Canadian carbon emissions to a reasonable proportion of recommended global rates’ has lost to Liberal Jus…
Trudeau wistful for past elections when he was just caught wearing blackface
OTTAWA – Sources report that Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has sunk into a bout of profound melancholy due to the conflux of COVID, Afghanistan, China, and unpredictable Conservative support, voc…
Jean Chrétien hired as Trudeau’s bodyguard
OTTAWA — In response to violent protesters throwing rocks and calling for his execution, Liberal leader Justin Trudeau has hired Jean Chrétien as his personal bodyguard. The 87-year-old has sever…
After Conservatives surge in polls, Trudeau reminds voters he’s also pretty racist
Ottawa, ON – After strong polling numbers showing the Conservative party’s newfound popularity, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has changed tactics by reminding Canadians he can be j…
Anti-vax protestors throw rocks at Trudeau due to not having entered Bronze Age yet
LONDON, ON – During an election campaign stop Prime Minister Justin Trudeau faced anti-vaccine protestors who hurled rocks, namely because they lack the intelligence and evolutionary capabi…
Federal election downgraded to Twitter poll with Trudeau asking, “Do you like me?”
OTTAWA – Recently, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau asked for a dissolution of parliament. With many condemning him due to its unencessity, Trudeau took to his Twitter, instead, to run a poll …
Government employee quits, demands new 4 year contract
OTTAWA – Despite being just 2 years into a 4 year contract, local civil servant Justin Trudeau abruptly resigned on Sunday, and then simultaneously demanded a brand new 4 year contract. …