LONDON, ON – During an election campaign stop Prime Minister Justin Trudeau faced anti-vaccine protestors who hurled rocks, namely because they lack the intelligence and evolutionary capabi…
Tag: election
Federal election downgraded to Twitter poll with Trudeau asking, “Do you like me?”
OTTAWA – Recently, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau asked for a dissolution of parliament. With many condemning him due to its unencessity, Trudeau took to his Twitter, instead, to run a poll …
Government employee quits, demands new 4 year contract
OTTAWA – Despite being just 2 years into a 4 year contract, local civil servant Justin Trudeau abruptly resigned on Sunday, and then simultaneously demanded a brand new 4 year contract. …
Conservative Party bitterly derides upcoming election as “big popularity contest”
OTTAWA — With rumours of an imminent Fall election swirling, the Conservative Party of Canada strongly voiced their objections against the entire course of action calling it “completely unjust an…
Delta variant excited to vote for Maxime Bernier
North Bay, ON – While making a pre-election tour in communities as far away from non-white Canadians as possible, Maxime Bernier gained an early endorsement when the Covid Delta variant exp…
Ford invokes Notwithstanding Clause to prevent people from pointing out what a fucking piece of shit he is
TORONTO – Doug Ford invoked the Notwithstanding Clause yesterday in order to pass an unconstitutional bill restricting outside parties from telling voters what an absolute piece of shit he …
“It’s not a carbon tax,” says O’Toole about his carbon tax
OTTAWA – Erin O’Toole pushed back against critics who have accused his plan for a carbon tax of being a carbon tax. “Our carbon levy is in no way a tax,” said O’Tool…
Trump pivots to claiming he actually won 2008 election
WASHINGTON D.C. – After a frantic series of overnight tweets in which he baselessly claimed to have actually won the recent election, outgoing President Donald Trump changed tactics by clai…
Lifelong New Democrat excited to vote NDP for first time
Peterborough, ON – Having been a die-hard NDP supporter since he was in undergrad, local man Jason Newman, 33, is looking forward to not strategically voting for the Liberals in order to be…