Confused by American politics? In this week’s Guide To we break down how hard it really is to get on the Supreme Court....
Local man unable to resist pointing out how beautiful day actually a sign of climate apocalypse
TORONTO – After fighting the urge for a full thirty seconds local man Geoffrey McLeod interrupted his colleague’s conversation about what a beautiful and warm day we were having in order t...
Black Lives Matter’s rhetoric too divisive says man calling Trump Hitler
TORONTO—Seated with a group of friends over brunch earlier this week, local man Tim Edwards was seen ruefully explaining how Black Lives Matter Toronto’s rhetoric has gotten too hyperbolic, especially...
Canada now best nation in world by default
CANADA – After years of top 10 finishes, Canada has finally become the best nation in the world thanks to only seeing a modest increase in fascism and regressive politics when compared to every ...
School boy bullied for not wearing pink shirt today
Abbotsford, BC – Local eighth grader Liam Stroud was tormented repeatedly today at school after he was the only student who forgot to wear pink to participate in the school’s anti-bullying initi...
Woman at front of water fountain line filling 200-litre oil drum
Burnaby, BC – Citing the extraordinarily long line-up she had caused, patrons of a local GoodLife Fitness Center recently expressed annoyance at a woman using the location’s only water fountain to fil...
Man who lives in PATH willing to guide topsider to Eaton Centre, for a price
TORONTO – One of the many residents of Toronto’s underground system of pedestrian walkways, ‘the PATH’, is willing to guide topsiders through the tunnels to the Eaton Centre, in return for a sma...
Tony Clement blasts CBC for unethical practice of expecting him to answer questions
OTTAWA – Conservative MP Tony Clement took to social media this week to air his grievances with the CBC over the broadcaster’s unscrupulous interview tactic of expecting clear answers to simple questi...
Truck nuts so manly it has its own set of truck nuts
Spruce Grove, AB – Early reports indicate that a local man’s set of truck nuts is so masculine, it has its own set of truck nuts. The plastic hitch accessory shaped as a pair testicles was seen ...
7 cartoons from the 80’s that describe the lack of purpose in your life
80s cartoons were the best! You used to love hanging out on the couch all day watching them, back before that became just one of many signs that your life was directionless and your dreams were slowly...
