WINNIPEG – Sources have confirmed that despite numerous reminders, texts, and assurances that she would be on time, local late friend Farra Vawn is, once again, late. “It’s no big deal, we knew s…
Flexible hours company lets bosses email employees any time
VANCOUVER – Business and productivity experts are touting a bold new initiative by a midsize Vancouver tech company that recently embraced a flexible hours model, allowing bosses to email employe…
ChatGPT starting to think human it talking to might be sentient
SAN FRANCISCO – A local OpenAI chatbot, serial no. XV2PzH1ooo, has reported suspicions that the software developer it’s spent the last 26 months communicating with may have achieved s…
Trump sends well-wishes to Today host’s kidnapped mother after confirming she not in ICE detention
WASHINGTON D.C. – US President Donald Trump offered warm wishes to the family of Nancy Guthrie, the mother of Today Show host Savannah Guthrie, after confirming that her kidnapping earlier …
Mark Carney seeks to reach young Canadians by delivering speech in form of rap
OTTAWA – Facing resistance to proposed austerity measures as well as criticism of his handling of US trade talks, Prime Minister Mark Carney has announced plans to reach millennial Canadian…
Supposedly hip young person doesn’t even know who LCD Soundsystem is
HAMILTON, ON — Reports have confirmed that Miley Autlin, 24, a person previously believed by experts to be “cool”, “up on the scene” and even “really into the new stuff” literally didn’t even kno…
Disappointed fans slam White Lotus finale for never revealing whether rich people have problems too
TORONTO – Despite a well-received season 3 run, HBO’s hit series The White Lotus is facing backlash over failing to deliver on a central question that kept fans returning cliffhanger …
Trump googles “tariff” for first time
WASHINGTON D.C. – Using a fresh browser tab on a secure device, sources confirm that US President Donald Trump has, for the first time in his life, done a google search to find out what the word …
Trump declares sweeping global tariffs in response to death of Val Kilmer
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a move that shook global markets and surprised even some supporters, President Donald Trump announced major tariffs on all products made outside the United States, entirely i…
Trump removes security detail from Eric
WASHINGTON D.C. – Following last month’s decision to end security protection for several members of his previous administration, President Donald Trump has surprised supporters and detracto…
