CALGARY – After wearily setting her fingerprint-laden glasses on the table in front of her, Mikayla Petersen sighed and remembered a point in time when she didn’t have to wipe her lenses down ev...
Ugh. This baby boomer thinks he knows more than millennials just because the Gods have cursed him with prophecy
REGINA – All you 20-something’s get ready to roll your eyes, because we’ve got another baby boomer here who thinks he knows everything. Regina man Gary Parker claims he understands the world bet...
In effort to keep up with climate change, Canada Goose releases new line of fur-trimmed tank tops
TORONTO – After one of the warmest winters on record, the Canadian luxury parka manufacturer Canada Goose has pivoted into the burgeoning fur-lined tank top market. “Yes, climate change is hurti...
Personals: “Single white supremacist seeks angry white voter for fascist ethno-state”
OTTAWA – In an attempt to her boost sagging poll numbers, and put an end to the relentless, crushing loneliness that haunts her every waking moment, Conservative leadership hopeful Kellie Leitch has b...
Kellie Leitch continues to follow in Trump’s footsteps by sexually assaulting multiple women
OTTAWA – Continuing to follow the game plan laid out for her by President Donald Trump’s successful campaign, Kellie Leitch has gone out of her way to brag about sexually assaulting a number of ...
Donald Trump’s EPA head denies pollution is man made
Who is this Scott Pruitt and where does he stand on the issues?...
Canucks fire team doctor Jenny McCarthy after 5 players contract mumps
VANCOUVER – Vancouver Canucks have terminated their agreement with their team doctor, Jenny McCarthy, after 5 players contracted the mumps. The actress, model, and alternative medicine adviser f...
Melania Trump whispers encouragement to refugee family hiding in Trump Tower walls
NEW YORK CITY — Reports have confirmed that at approximately 12:03 AM eastern time, just after the last of the servants had gone to bed, First Lady Melania Trump was seen whispering gentle words of en...
Couple slips Iceland trip pics under your pillow in case you didn’t see them online
TORONTO – Just in case you missed their Iceland trip photos on Facebook and Instagram, local couple Seth and Alyssa have placed a selection of hard copy prints under your pillow. Their stunning advent...
Yukon’s Sourdough-Rendezvous Festival to end with a traditional territory-wide power outage
WHITEHORSE – Yukon Energy has announced it will be celebrating the end of the Sourdough-Rendezvous Festival with a customary power outage event. On Sunday, the Sourdough-Rendezvous Queen is expe...
