KAMLOOPS, BC – Local domestic cat Mittens, known to many in his neighbourhood for spending his days prowling through backyards in apparent curiosity, is in fact curious only about which person’s...
NASA’s Curiosity rover finds evidence of nightlife on Mars
WASHINGTON, DC – NASA has announced that the Curiosity rover has recently discovered compelling evidence for the existence of nightlife on Mars, including but not limited to clubs, bars, and cab...
Rich dad greenlights new independent film
VANCOUVER, BC – The Canadian indie film world is abuzz today, following the announcement that local filmmaker Michael Fischer’s rich dad has greenlit production on indie dramedy, “Adulting, Inte...
Report: More couples choosing box wine over basic human dignity
VANCOUVER – A recent poll indicates that more couples than ever are choosing to buy wine in a cardboard box rather than retain their own sense of self-worth. Theories abound as to the reasons fo...
5 great gifts for your grads that aren’t letting them move back in with you
Congratulations! Your son or daughter is almost ready to walk across that stage and become the university graduate ready to take on the world you always knew they would be. Here are 5 ideas for gifts ...
Pregnant friend apparently first woman to ever be fucking pregnant
WELLINGTON, ON – Based entirely on how much they’re all talking about it, friends of local woman, Karen Hespeler, 29, say she seems to be the first woman in the entire fucking history of the hum...
Inspiration: Young drug dealer dreaming of becoming premier finally has a role model
MARKHAM – The election of Doug Ford as Ontario’s premier has become an inspiration for many young drug traffickers who now have the ambition to pursue public office one day. Despite all the odds...
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“Good fucking luck, Ontario!”
Editorial by Kathleen Wynne The votes have been counted, and you don’t want me in office anymore. I get it. And you know what? Good. You want Doug Ford in office? Well, good luck with that, assholes! ...
