KINGSTON, ON – A team of scientists at Queen’s University issued a press release yesterday stating that after a harrowing study, they have officially concluded that cool teenagers can smell when you’r...
NASA proposes bold new plan to terraform Earth
PASADENA, CA – Hoping to inspire the public, NASA announced a bold new plan today to terraform Earth, saying that one day, humanity may be able to realize the far-off, distant possibility of one...
Woman who gave stranger directions spotted frantically checking Google Maps two minutes later
VANCOUVER – Onlookers were shocked today when they witnessed a woman confidently give a lost motorist directions and then moments later pull out and check Google Maps. “I remember thinking, wow,...
Canadians continue to await release of Conservative climate change plan
OTTAWA – Despite promises they would release it on June 19th, the federal Conservatives appear to be no closer to releasing their detailed plan for addressing climate change. “Frankly I don’t un...
BC Parks adds volunteer firefighting to list of fun family campground activities
PRINCE GEORGE, BC – Members of the BC Parks Service are preparing to heat things up as they implement volunteer firefighting as an option to their camp activity calendar. “Families these days ar...
Western University invites David Wooderson from “Dazed and Confused” to speak at convocation
LONDON, ON – Western University has confirmed the smooth-talking star from the documentary “Dazed and Confused” will receive an honourary doctorate and speak at next year’s convocation for under...
Liberals declare climate change emergency for a few hours before approving pipeline
OTTAWA – The Liberal government has announced the recent climate change emergency declaration is now over, thereby granting them the moral authority to approve the Trans Mountain pipeline. A rel...
Snake can’t believe she still fits into her skin from 10 years ago
NARCISSE, MB – A local red sided garter snake took to a grass field to brag about how she can still squeeze into her old skin, which she shed some ten years ago. “Oh my God! ” said the snake sli...
New law requires Quebec to show its racism visibly
QUEBEC CITY – Quebec Premier François Legault has announced that his government has passed legislation requiring all citizens of Quebec to visibly show their contempt for religious and racial mi...
Doug Ford demands officer who carded Masai Ujiri be allowed to march in Raptors parade
TORONTO – Once again standing up for the rights of police officers everywhere, Ontario Premier Doug Ford demanded today that the unnamed officer who reportedly stopped and shoved team manager Ma...
