Brigitte May, Author at The Beaverton

Fighting fish awfully aggressive for a Beta

COQUITLAM, BC – The residents of the Chung household were in shock last week as the most recent addition to their family, a fighting fish named Stanley, began acting hostile towards them de…

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Local friends get engaged just to spite you

OTTAWA – Your friends Daryl Hoover and Cheyenne Klein, who have spent all quarantine posting pictures of each other on social media, have decided to get engaged as a vengeful move against y…

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Colony of mask pimples enter industrial revolution

KINGSTON- Anthropologists were left stunned last week as the colony of mask pimples they had been monitoring advanced past the agrarian stage and entered their own industrial revolution. “It’s re…

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Dixie Cups quietly changes name to Cups

DALLAS, TEXAS – In response to the recent wave of civil rights protests against police brutality and white supremacy erupting throughout North America, iconic paper product company Dixie Cu…

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