“I assume I’ll just show up and everything will unfold perfectly for me at all times right?” Guest host Ian MacIntyre and the Panel (Nile Seguin, Clare Blackwood and Diana McCallum) ...
Poilievre rushed to safety after actual journalist question makes it past security
CALGARY – During an outdoor campaign rally security rushed a shaken Pierre Poilievre to safety after he was tragically struck by a lone journalist’s question. “Mr. Poilievre was unha...
REPORT: Meeting you didn’t pay attention in could’ve been an email you didn’t read
MONTREAL – A new study into your workplace’s efficiency habits has found that all the meetings you zone out in at work could easily have been replaced with an email that you would’ve pretended t...
Snow White dethroned at box office by dimly lit video of man ranking Skittles flavours
Money, CA – After a few weeks breaking no records at the box office, Disney’s Snow White has finally been dethroned at the box office by a poorly shot video of a man ranking Skittles flavours. “...
Five fake facts about Canada Proud which we can publish because Facebook loves misinformation
Misinformation and misleading content on Facebook and Instagram from conservative advertising group Canada Proud have skyrocketed in the wake of Meta banning Canadian news from its platforms. Lucky fo...
Poilievre promises to make microplastics even bigger
MONTREAL – With a week left in the federal election, Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre announced how if Canadians vote for him, he will bring back single use plastic and drastically increase the si...
Mark Carney questions why struggling young Canadians not setting up offshore tax havens
OTTAWA – At a recent campaign stop, Prime Minister Mark Carney admitted to being genuinely puzzled why more cash-strapped young Canadians aren’t using elite asset management firms to maxim...
Man in movie theatre just needs to use his phone to send a quick text and read the complete works of Lucy Maud Montgomery
EDMONTON – As a hotly-anticipated blockbuster began playing in a packed theatre, 36-year-old Colin Schneider reassured his fellow moviegoers that he’d put his incredibly bright phone away just as soon...
Guy who can’t find the clitoris really into AI art
VICTORIA, BC – A local man who has never once found a woman’s clitoris has really gotten into AI art. “AI is the best,” claimed Shawn Owens, 29, as he played a video game created by real human beings ...
Canada stuck between making new friends and sticking with that one friend that’s gotten super conservative
CANADA – A somewhat reclusive and middle-aged Canada admitted it is stuck between making new friends or sticking with the one friend they’ve had forever, despite them recently becoming noticeabl...
