TORONTO – Premier Doug Ford’s government successfully passed a bill today allowing municipalities to create bike paths throughout the province so long as they lead to a wall with the …
Latest federal poll shows surprise emergence of new frontrunner: Men’s 4×100 Relay Team
OTTAWA – The latest polling is showing an unexpected leader in federal politics – the Men’s 2024 Olympic 4×100 relay team. With 74% of respondents saying they intend to vote for …
Trump wins 100% of the vote in guilty verdict
NEW YORK CITY, NY – Former US President Donald Trump has won 100% of the vote in his hush money trial as a jury reached the unanimous verdict of guilty on all 34 charges. Trump has been con…
New Canadian Olympic uniforms made from real Alberta beef
VANCOUVER – The Canadian Olympic Committee and the Canadian Paralympic Committee have partnered with the Alberta Beef Council to unveil the new athlete kits for the Paris 2024 Summer Olympi…
Rogue AI found in Montreal cafe, working on their new script
Montreal, QC – Computer researchers were surprised today to find a rogue artificial intelligence, or AI, on a computer in a Montreal cafe. The researchers say that it had been quietly occup…
RBC launches new Canadian Groceries Loan Program
TORONTO – At a press conference held outside Toronto’s Friendly Harvest Food Bank, RBC announced its latest financial offering: the new Canadian Groceries Loan Program. The program aims to …
Oscar the Grouch criticized for giving children unrealistic housing goals
TORONTO – Sesame Street character Oscar the Grouch has come under fire for setting unattainable housing goals for children by TV critic Madeline Wathers. Famously, Oscar the Grouch lives in…
Teen listening intently to grandmother for deep dive on latest “Nanalore”
RAWDON, QC – Local teen Ben Glasgow, age 16, was listening intently to his grandmother’s origin story to catch up on the latest “Nanalore” drop. His grandmother, Grace Glasgow, was recounti…
Avatar 3 run time predicted to go right up to Avatar 4 release
TORONTO, ON – There’s something special to look forward to in 2024. With blockbuster movie running times increasing every year, Avatar 3 has an announced run time of 2 years. This takes the…
Narcissist sends himself dick pic
MOUNT PEARL, NL – Locally renowned narcissist, Charles Mizzard, has been telling anyone who will listen about the “spectacular” dick pic he sent himself. Many residents have been unable to …