MONCTON, NB – Following the passing of Robert K. Irving, the Irving family has announced that he shall be buried in New Brunswick’s tallest non-smokestack structure, the Great Moncton Pyramid.
As co-CEO of J.D. Irving Ltd, Irving, age 71, oversaw the family’s vast holdings, as well as their legions of serfs. The pyramid, nearly 125 meters in height, was built as a tomb for the Irving family by generations of labourers as a final resting place for the titans of industry.
“We are heartbroken to lose Mr. Irving, a patron for so much of what happens here in New Brunswick,” said Norman Ankhseneb, President of Irving Triangle, an unlisted subsidiary of the Irving corporate empire. “(Irving’s) passing was long foretold but even when a prophecy comes true, we can only bear witness to destiny. Now we must beware the comets.”
The entombing ceremony is scheduled to begin at dawn on the third day after Irving’s passing. He will be buried with his golden sceptre and the traditional crown of chicken bones with his children present in the pyramid’s internal chamber.
Melanie Neheb-Amun, Irving’s chief scribe, said, “The days of plenty draw to a close. The tides will break the flowerpots and The Day Of Many Sunsets shall be upon us.”
She also announced that there will be a lottery tomorrow to select 100 living New Brunswickers to be buried with him in the Great Moncton Pyramid.
